Lumina Sherwood was diagnosed with Leukemia Stage 2. Back then, Lumina is a very ambitious talented daughter until her disease suddenly emerge along in her perfect life. Because of her disease, Lumina barely interact with other people and that cause...
Yesterday the doctor came to see me, for my check up. He told mama that I wasn't really feeling well, and that the medicines are no longer taking effect inside my body. The doctor didn't say it right to my face, I guess he just dont want me to feel bad, but why can't they just accept the fact that I'm going to die anyway?
I was lying on my bed, for 3 days pale and weak but I manage to smile, only for mama and Lian. I dont want them to feel pity, to feel sad. I just want them to be happy no tragic feelings. I suddenly felt something painful inside my body and I get up from my bed and ran up to the bathroom to throw up. I saw a few blood coming out from my mouth. Something caught my eye, I looked at myself at the mirror. I looked horrible, tired, weak, and pale. I looked at myself again, trying to process what's in front of me and that's when I thought that I dont deserve this. Something fell from my eyes and it begins to rain with teardrops. I sob. I cried silently to myself, covering my mouth to avoid making a sound. I feel pity over myself. What did I do to deseve this? I cried and cried to myself, hoping that everything will be okay.
~*~
February 17, 2011
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I feel bored just by lying at my bed, so I tried to keep myself company inside my room. Ivor— he didn't visit again after what happened to me. I really hoped he would but I know he has some other duties to do too and I am not a part of it. I was at my room the whole day doing stuffs that I used to do everyday, but every seconds of my life. It was already past 10:30 in the morning and I decided to throw some of my stuffs that are not really important anymore and then I saw my notebook with my list inside covered with thin dusts. I haven't opened it since after what happened to me. I guess I should throw this too? Or not? I really think that I couldn't fulfill all these things before I die.
Suddenly I heard the engine of a motorcycle outside, guess it was Ivor. He was only the person I have known to have a motorcycle so loud that it almost hurt my ears listening to it. I immediately walked up to my window to take a look, and I saw him with his bandmates outside of their house chatting while he was sitting on he's motorcycle, ready to go any time.
He suddenly glance at my window and I hurriedly closed the curtains and hide. Shit. Did he saw me? I hope he didn't, but my hearts says different— I wish he was. Ugh! Stop it! I whispered to myself. Suddenly I heard a loud knock at our door downstairs, Mama is still out buying is lunch, while Lian was on school and I was left home alone but— the knock on our door is getting louder and I immediately ran downstairs, I stopped infront of our door and take a deep breathe before I opened it. I rotate the door knob slowly and when I opened the door completely, there I saw him standing infront of our door with his sweats rolling down his face. I felt my heart was beating louder and faster, and I hoped that he didn't heard that. I felt something wet is starting to roll down on my face. I'm sweating. It's not summer yet but why does it feel so hot in here? I broke the barrier between us and we both speak in unison.
"Hey—
"Hi—— he chuckled.
"Ladies first?" He said grinning.
"Okay." I said trying not to smile.
"Uhm. What do you want?" I asked him shyly.
"Oh . I was going to check on you. Your mom texted me." He said shrugging.
"Ahh. Okay. I am fine, please tell her." I said half smiling. After that silence filled the place. We were both standing there like statues with our head bow down. This is really awkward. I broke the silence.
"Do you need anything else?" I said with my voice breaking.
"Sorry. I was just going to leave." He said. I can tell he's somewhat occupied by an alien. He was not in his self.
"Okay. Bye." I whispered and I was about to close the door but suddenly
"Wait!" He shouted and pushed the door a little.
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"What is it?" I said with my voice gentle.
"I miss you," he said and immediately disappeared in front of me. I was stunned. I could hear my heavy breathes. I could feel the excitement screaming inside me. I smiled as a result. I wish I could've answered back.
