I Hate You With All My Heart

1

I sit up slowly, yawning. I rub my crust filled eyes and stare at the wall for a bit.

Another day of school. Great.

I throw a shirt over my chest and pull my jeans up to my waist. A skull belt hugged my waist tightly. Fat fat fat...

I smother my wrists in rubber bracelets, covering my scars. I sigh and turn on my flat iron. As I wait, I run my hand through my hair. Ugly.

I stretch my arms out and grab my flat iron. I stare at the iron, then my arms. Not now...not now. The flat iron makes my messy hair better. Oh well. I spray hairspray over my hair. I pat it down a bit and stand up. No matter how hard I try...I'll still be hideous.

I run down the stairs, my belt chains dangling from my hips. I push my hair back softly and look through the pantry. My hands search for a box of cereal. I pour a little bit of Cheerios into my bowl. I stare at my barely filled cereal bowl. I push it aside and look at the clock. Footsteps run through the hallways. A groggy voice fills the hallways. I silently grab my book bag and walk outside. "Chase! You fatass...where the hell are you?" My mom. Her voice haunts my brain. This is all I get for living. Death threats, harsh words...my life is worthless.

The bus rolls into my neighborhood. I walk in, immediately getting hit in the face by something. A pencil. I sigh and sit in the way front. "You're such a pussy Pike. Why don't you sit back here with the rest of us?" Logan Hunt hisses. "I can't tell if you're lesbian or a gay emo." Annabeth Meyers laughs. My stomach turns around and I scoot closer to the window. A tear streams down my cheek. Why am I still alive?

The school bus finally approaches the school after what seemed like hours. I tremble as I walk off. I hate this place. I hate it so much. I wish I wasn't different. I wish I was just like them. Popular...and accepted. I walk to my locker, fumbling with the combination lock. I slam open my locker, and it's immediately shut. "Haha...not today pansy." Logan chuckles. I look at him impatiently. "What do you want?" I mumble between gritted teeth. "I want you to kill yourself. And cut yourself. Oh wait...I see you already cut!" He pulls my bracelets up. "Stop it!" I scream, pushing him back. "Faggot! Why don't you do us all a favor and kill yourself?" He kicks me in the stomach. My whole world stops. I curl up into a ball and cry for a bit. I try to stand myself up, but I keep falling. After a few tries, I'm finally back on my feet again. I grab my books and walk to homeroom.

I sketch the same drawing over and over again. A rose with thorns. I keep in mind that every bad has it's good...I just have to wait for my good to come. A girl in the back stares at my drawings for a bit. "Hey you're pretty good at drawing." she says as she walks up to me. "Thanks..." I don't receive many compliments, so I usually don't know how to respond. "I'm Lilly." She smiles and reaches her hand out. "I'm Chase." I said, shaking her hand and looking down. Her warmth runs through my wrists. "Nice to meet you." Lilly pushes her hair behind her ears. She giggles softly as the bell rings. "See you soon, Chase." she scoots back into her chair. I smile and look down. I think I made a friend.

My first class, band, is my favorite. I play guitar. My favorite instrument of all time. It's am acoustic. I love the way my fingers run across the strings and pluck gently. I take care of guitars, as if they are my child. My band teacher loves the way I play. I think playing guitar will be my only talent. Besides being worthless, if that is a talent. I run to the back of the room and grab my wooden guitar. My fingertips kiss the white strings, as I pull and press on the keys. I close my eyes and listen to the music. Music has sort of been there for me, I guess that's why I love it so much.

As soon as class is over I grab my stuff and walk to the door. As soon as I think I'm alone, I hear a deep voice.

"I don't know really, the guitar is sort of my best friend you know?" the voice says.

I nod as I get closer to the noise. I see a tall boy with black hair, plaid shirt, and ripped jeans. The sight of him takes my breath away. Something tells me my good is coming soon.