The Kajiu King

The Kajiu King Part 5

[Be Prepared Scene]

{Camera switch from stars to Kajiuraptor cave. As we move into the cave, we first hear Jay's voice and eventually see Jay and Ed together with Sam to the side.}

Jay: Man, that lousy Dagon! I won't be able to sit for a week! {We notice numerous scratches on Jay's rear}
Ed: {Laughs}
Jay: It's not funny, Ed.
Ed: {Tries to stop laughing, but bursts out worse}
Jay: Hey, shut up!
Ed: {Can NOT stop laughing}

{Jay tackles Ed; they start fighting.}

Sam: Will you knock it off!

{Jay stops. Ed continues, biting himself in the leg.}

Jay: Well, he started it!
Sam: Look at you guys. No wonder we're dangling at the bottom of the food chain.
Jay: {With drool dangling from his mouth} Man, I hate dangling.
Sam: Shyeah? You know, if it weren't for those Kajiu hunters and human hunters, we'd be runnin' the joint.
Jay: Yeah. Man, I hate Kajius and humans.
Sam: So pushy.
Jay: And hairy.
Sam: And stinky.
Jay: And man, are they...
Sam and Jay: UuuugLY! {laughter}
SpaceGodzilla: {From his perch we saw in the Kajiuraptor chase} Oh, surely we Kajiu and human hunters are not all THAT bad.
Jay: Ohh. {relieved from the surprise} Oh, SpaceGodzilla, it's just you.
Sam: We were afraid it was somebody important.
Jay: Yeah, you know, like Dagon.
Sam: Yeah.
SpaceGodzilla: I see.
Jay: Now that's power.
Sam: Tell me about it. I just hear that name and I shudder.
Jay: Dagon.
Sam: {Shivering} Ooooh. ... Do it again.
Jay: Dagon.
Sam: Ooooh!
Jay: Dagon. Dagon! Dagon!
Sam: {Builds up hysterical laughter} ...Oooh! It tingles me.
SpaceGodzilla: I'm surrounded by idiots.
Jay: Not you, SpaceGodzilla; I mean, you're one of us. I mean, you're our pal.
SpaceGodzilla: {Sarcastic} Charmed.
Sam: Ohh, I like that. He's not king, but he's still so proper.
Jay: Yeah. Hey, hey. Did ya bring us anything to eat, SpaceGodzilla, old buddy, old pal? Huh? Did-ya-did-ya-did-ya?
SpaceGodzilla: I don't think you really deserve this. {Holds out a zebra haunch.} I practically gift-wrapped those kids for you. {Drops leg to Kajiuraptors} And you couldn't even dispose of them. {Intro fade-in on Be Prepared}
Sam: {Chewing with full mouth} Well, ya know. It wasn't exactly like they was alone, SpaceGodzilla.
Jay: Yeah. What are we supposed to do-- {swallow} kill Dagon?
SpaceGodzilla: Precisely.

{The three kajiuraptors pause from eating and look up at SpaceGodzilla questioningly.}

{Three-top flutter to coincide with SpaceGodzilla's leaps down to the Kajiuraptors.}

{SpaceGodzilla walks calmly through sheets of flame and gas into the camera over the opening bit of the song}

{SpaceGodzilla paces slowly around Ed, who is chewing on the remnants of the zebra leg}

SpaceGodzilla: {Full song} I know that your powers of retention
Are as wet as a warthog's backside
But thick as you are, pay attention
My words are a matter of pride
It's clear from your vacant expressions
The lights are not all on upstairs

{On 'Pay attention', SpaceGodzilla angrily swats the bone away; Ed comes to abrupt attention}

{Waving his hand in front of Ed's blank eyes to make his point; Ed's tongue lolls out}

SpaceGodzilla: But we're talking kings and successions
Even you can't be caught unawares

{Sam and Jay are laughing on a ledge behind him; on "you," SpaceGodzilla turns and leaps at them, throwing them backward onto a pair of geysers, which then erupt, throwing the two kajiuraptors into the air.}

{In the next verse, SpaceGodzilla is strutting theatrically along a ledge which runs around back to the floor.}

SpaceGodzilla: So prepare for a chance of a lifetime
Be prepared for sensational news
A shining new era
Is tiptoeing nearer
Sam: And where do we feature?
SpaceGodzilla: {Grabbing Sam's cheek} Just listen to teacher

{Sam rubs her cheek, which is now bruised red}

SpaceGodzilla: I know it sounds sordid
But you'll be rewarded
When at last I am given my dues
And injustice deliciously squared
Be prepared!

{SpaceGodzilla leaps up beside Ed, who is again chewing on the bone, and here kicks him off the ledge}

{The three kajiuraptors land in a pile of bones and are submerged; they reappear, each with a different horned skull on his head.}

{Spoken}

Jay: Yeah, Be prepared. Yeah-heh... we'll be prepared, heh. ...For what?
SpaceGodzilla: For the death of the king.
Jay: Why? Is he sick?

{SpaceGodzilla grabs Jay by the throat}

SpaceGodzilla: No, fool - we're going to kill him. Godzilla too.

{Dropping Jay back onto the floor}

Sam: Great idea! Who needs a king?
Sam (and then Jay): {Sing-song voices, dancing around Jay} No king! No king! la-la-la-la-laa-laa!
SpaceGodzilla: Idiots! There will be a king!
Jay: Hey, but you said, uh...
SpaceGodzilla: I will be king! ...Stick with me {triumphant, toothy grin}, and you'll never go hungry again!
Sam and Jay: Yaay! All right! Long live the king!

{Camera reveals hundreds of more kajiraptors in the shadows.}

All Kajiuraptors: Long live the king! Long live the king!

{Full song again}

{SpaceGodzilla's army of Kajiuraptors is goose-stepping across the floor of the cave, now stylized into a Nazi-esque quadrangle}

Kajiuraptors: {In tight, crisp phrasing and diction}
It's great that we'll soon be connected.
With a king who'll be all-time adored.
SpaceGodzilla: Of course, quid pro quo, you're expected
To take certain duties on board

{Motions a slice across the neck}

SpaceGodzilla: The future is littered with prizes
And though I'm the main addressee
The point that I must emphasize is
You won't get a sniff without me!

{Leaps off his rock throne to single out one helpless kajiuraptor; that the kajiuraptor slips and falls into a fiery crevice}

{Throughout the next verse, the entire horde of kajiuraptors joins in dancing boisterously, leaping along the tops of rock pillars, shaking animal skeletons in the light, one playing a rib cage/xylophone.}

{The paranthetical parts are the Kajiuraptor's counterpoint singing}

SpaceGodzilla: So prepare for the coup of the century
(Oooh!)
Be prepared for the murkiest scam
(Oooh... La! La! La!) {rear ends punctuating}
Meticulous planning
(We'll have food!)
Tenacity spanning
(Lots of food)
Decades of denial
(We repeat)
Is simply why I'll
(Endless meat)
Be king undisputed
(Aaaaaaah...)
Respected, saluted
(...aaaaaaah...)
And seen for the wonder I am
(...aaaaaaah!)
Yes, my teeth and ambitions are bared
(Oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo)
Be prepared!
All (Even Ed): Yes, our teeth and ambitions are bared -
Be prepared!

{Close with a fill-in and a fade-out. SpaceGodzilla and the kajiuraptors are laughing evilly. Drum roll rises to a crash coinciding with the panoramic opening of the next scene.}