I had cried myself dry. It wasn't pleasant. And then I had to wait until I was able to pass off the red nose as cold. By the time I had been able to successfully pull that off, Gabriel still hasn't arrived. And Marian was no where to be seen. The other two had gone to check up on the towns. I was alone.
I kept thinking about Moden. And every time I did, my eyes began to water, but tears didn't fall. I don't know how to deal with this. I figure at some point. . . who am I kidding. I love a Demon, who doesn't love me. He knows better than I do. Maybe I should just put myself to good use. I get up shakily, too weak to stand. Looking around, I empty my mind. I have to do something. I decide it is best to explore the surrounding area. I need to know my way around. Maybe I'll even get that cross for the church.
A warm breeze toys with my hair as I walk out. I decide to go east.
A thick line of tree prevents me from passing through comfortably. Bugs buzz around. I see vibrant flowers rising from the ground as if they are warriors rising from battle. Sunlight filters through the trees and golden light tips the green grass. I can feel the warmth of this area profoundly. I know that the forest stretches for miles here, and the town in this direction hadn't been affected yet. We have our eyes on it.
I return to the church and head southeast. I actually enter further into this portion and find an old well in the middle of a circle of rocks. Trees circle it as if they were waiting for something to happen. There is a large clearing here, the gap between the trees and the well is insane. I make note of this place, and go to square one.
South of the church the first thing I see is an everything store. I enter it. There are treats that rot your health, and many that don't. Suddenly, I remember the human currency Gabe gave me when I headed for Nowtin. I pull that out and decide to get a few apples for my adventures. I leave the place, going back to my original spot.
My next destination is southwest of the holy grounds. Actually, there was no place to go. I walked for about two hours and found nothing worth investigation. Again, I return to the church.
I realize I can't go northwest, the forest is too dense. Maybe if I had a few more hours in the day I would see what lay behind the curtain of trees.
North is my best bet. I realize that that is where Gabriel went, and decide not to go. I don't want to run into him.
Northeast. Nowtin. Moden. I ignore the third choice and decide to check in on the poor town.
Slowly but surely my legs take me to the town. I feel the familiarity of this area seep inside me. My feet set on a path to Nowtin. I walk looking down, not bothering on fully focusing on the path.
"You know the drill," a raspy voice says. I stop dead in my tracks. I decide to climb a tree, doing so without attracting attention. Soon I can see the people.
Marian.
Demons.
Moden.
Marian isn't doing anything to attack. She calmly stands there, as if she were talking to Gabe or I.
"Yes, I do. We haven't got a plan. Right now we're trying to help the towns," Marian summarizes.
"That better be true. We have a battle strategy, and plan to destroy the towns again. But worse," says one of the three demons.
She nods with a slight smirk and then turns to Moden who had been looking around, "Has she told you anything about us?" She was talking about me! He told her we. . . Tears threaten to fall.
"No, but I intend to provide evidence for you," he says quietly.
"Good. I want her out."
He was using me? Of course he was. You don't just hang out with your enemy. A tear falls.
"How could you?" I say under my breath. Suddenly, he looks up at me. His eyes widen. How?
"I'm gonna head out, they'll tell you what you need to know," Moden tells Marian. He glances at me and mouths, "Follow me." And I do. He walks for a long time and heads to the well clearing. Tears have pooled in my eyes, blurring my vision, but some fall as well. He stops and turn to me, his expression unreadable. I don't stop though. I walk right up to him and slap him. He stays still.
"Liar! You said. . . I believed you!" A sob stops any other words. "You know when you told me you were different? I believed you! I believed you when you told me that story! I. . . trusted you. And you go on and pretend like that mattered. I was just a toy."
He looks up at me.
"I'm so stupid! Do you know how much happiness I felt when we met? I could finally talk to someone. And then this. I should have never trusted you. And its not like I have a choice in the matter anymore because I--," I stop myself from saying the words.
Moden looks puzzled. "Because why?"
I look away, my cheeks burning. With a gentle push of my chin, he gets me to look at him. "Because why?"
"It doesn't matter anymore."
"Tell me. It matters to me," he says. I laugh a bitter laugh. He looks at me, dead seriousness in his abyss eyes.
"I had to stop seeing you. Not because I wanted to, but because I needed to. I made a grave mistake in letting it go past one meeting."
"Why?"
"Because after all that, I got the worst possible fate for what I am," I look him square in the eye, my tears long gone, "I love a Demon. I love you."
I hear his breath catch. "You left me because you love me?"
I nod.
"I need you. Do you realize that? I wasn't lying when I said I told you more than I ever did my 'family.' Imagine how awful it is to just have you walk out of my life like you never belonged there. Do you realize how much it hurt?" he tells me, his voice cracking on "hurt."
I look away.
"Please don't feel bad about loving me," he whispers. He tilts my face to him, "because I love you, too." He leans in to kiss me.
Our lips meet in a sweet dance. There is no anger, or desperation. Just a sweet lullaby. Just love. We stand there for a while, kissing. I wrap my arms around him, his arms snaking around my waist in response.
Suddenly, my mind returns to reality. He's a Demon. I can't. . .do this. I pull away, and Moden looks at me questioningly.
"We still can't be together. I'm an Angel, you're a Demon. And if we were spotted together by anyone else, we're dead," I say.
Moden nods. "But I don't want to let this go. Not ever."
I smile sadly up at Moden. "I don't either, but it's for the better."
We interlace our fingers together. Silence spreads like a blanket in winter. The wind plays with our hair.
"I'm sorry," I whisper.
And I am.
