Going Too Far

Going to far

AN/ Hey guys :) So this is my second story that i have ever written. and I'm a little nervous, it's going to be slow going at the begining because i'm having a writers block right now. so please give it a shot, it will get better i promise :)

Oh! and if you get a chance PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE go read my other story Hiding My Heart. PleasE? I have seen that even though this story is over it has gotten bigger reads then ever! in fact my other story only has 5,000. this story has doubled that in the past two weeks! so please, give my other story a shot? It's not so bad! i promise, like this book it will have a slow begining, but it gets better i promise!

Anyways, Enjoy!!!!

I raised my hand and cut my wrists watching blood pour out of it, I smile and cut the other wrist I felt so happy. I watched as blood splattered on the ground making a small circle, running I jump into the water. Holding my breath and sinking to the bottom, I open my eyes the chlorine stinging my wrists and eyes. I hold my wrists in front of me and watch as my blood swirls around me. I let more air out and now sitting on the bottom of the pool. 

I watch mesmerized as my blood dances around me polluting the water. I giggle because for some odd reason this is funny to me. I'm sitting on the bottom of the pool with barely enough oxygen, and watching my blood pour out of me. This made me giggle more, the little oxygen left my mouth vanished. I felt like my lungs were about to burst, I wanted to push off and swim to the top to get as much air as I can. But I remained on the ground telling myself over and over again how much I needed this. This was going to help me get away, I needed this.  

I looked at my wrists as more and more blood seeped out, I closed my eyes and smiled before sucking in water and chocking on it. This is what I needed, this is how I always wanted it. I sucked in more chocking and coughing trying to clear my lungs. I started feeling faint my lungs hurt and I couldn't breath. Finally the darkness and pain were going to take me away for good.

Beep... Beep... Beep. I groaned and let my eyes flutter open, I sat up and looked at my alarm clock. It was seven o clock sharp, I ran my hand down my face as I pulled the blankets off me.  

Why did I have to wake up? I was having such a good dream. I slammed my hand down on the off button not wanting to hear it screech at me to wake up anymore. Wiping the sleep from my eyes I shuffled my way to the bathroom jumping into the shower the hot water waking me up instantly. I sighed and stood there for a couple of minutes letting the warm water warm my skin. I went through the process of taking a shower slowly, when I was finally done with the process I got out and wrapped a towel around my body.  

"Taylor! Hurry up, your not the only on that needs to get ready." My twin sisters voice screamed from the other side of the door.  

Before she could bang on the door again I opened it. My own face looked back at me. The same long dark brown hair tangled around the face, high cheek bones, soft pink lips turned up in a pout, dark eyebrows pulled down, light blue eyes giving me an icy glare. I blinked to remember this wasn't my face but my twin sisters Trinity's face.  

"Come on Tay, your going so slow today. We don't have the time to go slow today." She put her hands on her hips. I rolled my eyes, I hated when she tried to act like our mom.  

"Sorry" I mumbled pushing past her and going to my room. The thing about Trinity was that she was the favorite, out of everybody. Every body was in love with her, her friends worshipped the ground she walked on. Teachers would let her get by on missing homework she made honor roll every year. She was amazing at everything sports, art, acting, you name it she's good at it. She got the spot light everywhere we went, sure I was her twin and we looked exactly a like but she got noticed more because of her social personality. The thing that always made me mad was how everybody thought she was some God, and always perfect. She could never do anything wrong, their all a bunch of blind fools. 

Since being her twin I knew everything about her. She told me everything, every secret she had, every thought she had both good and naughty. If they knew the real her they wouldn't be so blind and foolish, but she has them wrapped around her little finger. It's easy to fall into her trap though, all she had to do was bat those long eyelashes at you and give you the most innocent smile and you were hooked. 

I shook my head clearing my thought as I dried myself off. I reached for my clothes I had already picked out the night before. A deep green tank top that seemed to cling to my body at all the right places that had a white design on the top, I searched my closet for my little over coat. I pulled it on then my short daisy duke shorts. I looked at myself in the full body length mirror and almost cried out in frustration.  

I didn't see myself in the mirror I saw Trinity. We were the same height and had the same toned athletic body. The only difference between us were my slightly larger breast and my green eyes compared with her icy blue ones. I shook my head trying to erase the image of Trinity. It seemed to work, grabbing my brush I pulled it through my wet hair. After it was parted down the side I brushed my side bangs. I sat there looking at myself not knowing what to do with my hair. My dark brown hair had a slightly natural wave to it. I decided to dry it, I blow dried it and pulled the brush against the small tangles.  

My soft brown hair laid against my shoulder in a slight wave, I pulled it into a high pony but decided against it. I pulled it out and let it fall around my face smiling when I remembered Trinity always straightened her hair. Another thing that separated myself from her.  

I put mascara and eyeliner on. It was the only makeup I would wear, I hated when girls would plaster so much makeup on their faces it made them look fake. 

I left my room and made my way down stairs to the kitchen to find my little brother eating Lucky Charms. I grabbed a bowl and poured myself some, eating mouthfuls. James ate in silence, never talking to me. James and I had never had the best sibling relationship, he loved Trinity more than me. I never understood it, I was down before he had time to scoop up his last bite.  

Trinity came down at that time. Her lean legs carried her over to the fruit where she began eating an apple. I rolled my eyes at this, Trinity usually never ate breakfast.  

"Hey kiddo you might want to hurry up. I wouldn't want you missing the bus." She said to James. 

"Do I have to go to school?" He complained. 

"Of course you silly. It's the first day of school." She smiled. 

I rolled my eyes leaving the room, I could never stand it when she tried to act all motherly. I made my way back into the bathroom to brush my teeth. I brushed until I heard Trinity coming back up, I rinsed and rushed into my room before she could see me.  

I looked at myself in the mirror again hoping to see myself. But when I looked all I could see was Trinity. It was like she was living my life, every time I looked at myself I always saw her. In the halls of school or around my friends they would also think so. It wasn't my name they would say, they would slip up and call me Trinity. I felt anger feel my veins, seeping out of my skin. I couldn't contain it any longer, letting out a frustrated sigh I knelt down and looked under my bed and pulled out a small box. 

Opening it slowly I looked at the two sharp razor blades. I reached for once and held above my wrist, I bit my bottom lip and closed my eyes taking a deep breath. 

I became addicted to cutting myself since I realized it made me feel different and separated from Trinity because for once I didn't have to share with Trinity. 

I pressed it into my right wrist and slowly drew a little line on my wrist. Watching as blood started to seep out the pain had stopped and I felt nothing. Grabbing my towel I held it under my wrist so it wouldn't get on the white carpet. 

I closed my eyes feeling better. This was the only way I feet independent and separated from Trinity. I put my head back and rested it on the side of my bed. Feeling a little light headed, but I didn't care it would pass soon anyways. 

"Taylor, come on we got to leave soon." Trinity's voice broke me from my good mood. I wrapped the towel around my wrist and put pressure on it to stop the bleeding. 

"Coming." I called back my voice shaking slightly. A couple minutes later the bleeding had stopped, I grabbed a big bracelet and put it on my right wrist hiding the cut perfectly.  

No one will even notice. I thought leaving my room with my backpack.