The Moon Dancer

Chapter 11

"What do you mean I won't have help finding Moondancer!" Judar shouted in anger as he stared down Kouen, the Crown Prince.

"I case you haven't noticed, my son is missing. Finding Kouta is our top priority." Kouen growled, not moving his pink eyes away from Judar's red ones. Judar clenched his fists as he gave way to Kouen's overpowering dominance. He growled in frustration and turned away from Kouen.

"Damn it all! How is it that I'm the fucking High Priest Oracle, but I can't seem to even get a squad when I need it! Does anyone even listen to a damn word I say?!" Judar ranted loudly as he stormed away from the growing search party. 

It frustrated Judar that even with his power and authority he still had to bow to the Crown Prince. Had it been the son of another prince or high official, then Judar would have gotten the first pick for his own search party. 

Anger boiled Judar's blood and he struggled to control himself. His first impulse was to go out and simply destroy each building in the capitol until he found Moondancer, but the small voice of reason in his head was telling him that was a bad idea. Even he wouldn't get away with causing that much destruction.

Judar wracked his brain for another idea, and suddenly one jumped out at him. It was so simple he almost wanted to smack himself for thinking of it earlier. Quickly Judar changed his course to the inner section of the palace toward the quarters of a certain prince who owed him a favor.

***

Ruhya gently rocked a sleeping Kouta back and forth. He was too big to be properly rocked, but it was the only method of comforting Ruhya knew. Memories of her own mother rocking her clawed their way up, and Ruhya tried to fight them down. However, it was in the dark silence that her memories were strongest. After a few seconds of trying to distract herself, Ruhya succumbed to them.

Remembering was painful. Her early memories were pleasant enough, but that only helped to magnify the pain of her late childhood. Ruhya knew what a happy life was, so it was especially painful when her mother changed. 

No, that's not right, Ruyha chided herself. Her mother didn't change, she was replaced. 

Ruhya frowned, it was around the time she started to dance that her mother was replaced by the woman in blue, Ruhya's "Big Sister". This woman looked very much like Ruhya's mother, but her eyes were dull, voice missing its sweetness, and her face was much older and worn out. Her mouth whispered no sweet endearments but instead spat out harsh rebukes. No, this woman was not her mother, she was an imposter.

 "Mother I-"

"Big Sister." Corrected a harsh voice.

"Big Sister...I don't want to dance." Whispered a 7-year old Ruhya. She tugged at her cropped shirt, trying to cover more of her skin. The dry Balbad air kept her warm, but it did little to keep away her discomfort. The woman in blue whirled around to face Ruhya, a scowl marred her face. She latched onto Ruhya' s shoulders with a wild look in her eyes.

"The only reason I even taught you to dance was for this specific time. You will dance for the Uncles, and you will smile for them, and do anything to get their gold. Am I clear?" Big Sister clipped out, her hands painfully clutching Ruhya's shoulders.

Ruhya nodded fiercely, fighting the tears stinging her eyes. Her head movement shifted her blindfold out of place, allowing bits of light to shine on Ruhya's eyes. She cried out in pain and crouched down with her hands pressed tightly against her eyes. It had been a few months since her eyes had become sensitive to light, burning with pain at any exposure, but Ruhya was still not used to it. 

The woman dressed in blue let out an exhausted sigh and fixed Ruhya's blindfold, pulling it painfully tight. Ruhya whimpered as she slowly stood back up, her lip quivering. 

"Don't you dare cry, not before your first performance. A red face is not attractive." Chastized Big Sister, her voice snarling out the last phrase. 

A familiar drumbeat began to play followed by a lute. Ruhya's body tensed as the woman in blue pushed her through the thick curtain separating them from several men. 

Ruhya stood frozen for a few seconds, feeling a bought of stage fright. For the first time, she was thankful for the blindfold she wore. As the music continued to increase in speed Ruhya's body began to move. 

Her muscle memory activated a result of rigorous training. Ruhya moved, her dance movements smooth as silk. Despite her impaired sight, Ruhya made no mistakes. Each step precise and each twirl fluid. Ruhya shut out all sounds and thoughts, all she could focus on was the next movement.

The dance ended with one final spin. Ruhya's chest slightly heaved as she caught her breath. She knew her dance was a success, each step was flawless, but why did she feel so wrong?

The answer came a few seconds later as she stood on the stage. Though she could not see, Ruhya could feel the stares on her. The weight of the stares on her was heavy. She didn't know exactly what emotion the Uncles were emitting, but it made her feel small and scared.

Soon enough Ruhya would learn exactly what the stares meant, but this was the first time she felt The Fear.

Kouta whimpered, bringing Ruhya out of her memories as she realized how forcefully she was squeezing the boy.

"Kouta, I'm sorry. Did I hurt you?" Ruhya asked with concern and guilt. The young boy shook his head, his eyes slightly dulled by sleep. Ruhya stroked his head and he was slowly lulled back to sleep. Ruhya sighed deeply, she was worried how this experience would affect Kouta. 

Tears prickled Ruhya's eyes. She wasn't sure if all the emotional stress was finally takin its toll or if the long exposure to light was too much for her. She sniffled as she secured Kouta's sash around her eyes again. 

The simple act of putting herself in darkness broke the walls holding back her tears. A feeling of exhaustion and weakness overcame her. She should be used to this kind of suffering, but no matter how many time Ruhya went through hard times, it never got any easier. She put her hand over her mouth to keep from waking Kouta up. However, her shaking body was enough to stir the young prince from his sleep. 

"It's going to be okay. We're going to be fine." Kouta said. He wrapped his small arms around her, his own eyes burning with tears. Ruhya could only sob.

How many times had she been told that everything was going to be okay? How many times did she try to convince herself that she would be okay?

Ruhya could only cry harder, only the presence of a small boy to comfort her, but that was more than she had ever had.