In Another Universe

Friday 14:41 If Only You Would Listen

A groan came from Charlie's side. He looked up from his phone and turned his head to Evie, facepalming next to him on the bed. She had been there for a while now, saying that she was too tired to work but too stressed to sleep so now she just needed company, even if it was just doing... whatever that was. But if that helped her, outside of the occasional groan, she wasn't bothering him.

"You're okay? Wouldn't it be more comfortable to be on your back?" He asked, putting down his phone.

"I like the attention."

"What you need to do is stop living through The Office references."

"Shut up, Pam."

He rolled his eyes, but smiled slightly, amused.

"Where's your Jim?"

A little startled at first, he realised pretty quickly that she was joking, just making another reference. But maybe, just maybe, this could be an opportunity to talk. A great segway to a subject he still hadn't had the courage to talk about, except with the principal interested.

"It's not a Jim..." He said, not daring to look at her.

"Fine. A Lea."

"No..." He shook his head. "Not a Lea."

Her curiosity was suddenly picked and she turned around to look at him, an eyebrow raised. But she didn't say anything, letting him continue.

"It was never really a Lea."

"Okay?"

"It's an Isaac."

Evie straightened up, apparently surprised. But Charlie could see that she wasn't that surprised. He appreciated the fake shock nonetheless.

"Last weekend... He wasn't there because he was drunk... We just wanted to be together and kiss and... just talk."

"Well... that sounds like a nice Saturday."

"It was... But... I'm not saying we're together."

"Yeah that's fine." She shrugged, leaning on the wall next to him.

"We didn't really talk about it. But also... that doesn't mean I'm gay," he said, on a defensive tone.

"Yeah, okay, mate. You do you, I don't care."

"I mean... I'm not like that. Just because I kissed a guy doesn't mean I'm going to start buy rainbow flags and parading around yelling everywhere that I did. It was just one guy. I'm not going to wear makeup and high heels just for that, or going to pride and stuff."

Evie pinched her nose, shaking her head. After a long sigh, she looked up at him.

"Okay, listen and listen closely. You get to identify as whatever you want, and that doesn't depend on what you do and how you behave. You should know better than that. Life isn't that simple, you don't just have straight people and gay people that dress differently," she said, crossing her arms. "It doesn't work like this. Sure, your sexuality can influence your behavior and personality but in themselves, they aren't inherently connected. And those people you so desperately try to distance yourself from, they're the reason you can tell me you kissed a guy without fearing that I'll shun you and report you for a crime. Those people worked so well and so much and fought so hard that you can decide not to care, that you can allow yourself to be ignorant. You owe the ability to be with Isaac, and to choose whether you want to be proud to trans women who rioted 50 years ago. You have zero right to be a dick about it."

She stood up, her jaw clenched. Charlie had listened to every word, and with every one of them felt shame trickling down his back. Looking down and away, slumped shoulders, he pinched his lips.

"It never hurt anyone to open a Wikipedia page before saying stupid things and it's not too late for you to do that. Now."

"'Vie.." he said, seeing her leaving the room.

"I don't really want to talk right now, Charlie. Read a little and then come back."

She left the room, closing the door behind her and leaving Charlie alone with his thoughts. He knew he messed up, just how much he didn't grasp yet. Trying to hide himself behind excuses and stereotypes wasn't the greatest idea, but he definitely wasn't planning on hurting Evie. All he wanted to do right now, apart from opening Google, was talking to Isaac.

When his phone vibrated to show Isaac's name, he thought for a second that someone read his mind. He grabbed it, looking for comfort. But that wasn't what he found.

Instead, he got a message asking for time off. Of them. He needed time? But he was the one to seek him in the library and kiss him... Continually, trying to understand Isaac was revealing itself to be more and more complicated. He was lost, and now he was alone.

He buried his face in his pillow. Maybe if he slept until tomorrow he would forget that this day ever happened. Maybe?

As he was trying to fall asleep, another message arrived from Isaac. A poem. There he was, making things harder for him. It was like one of his notes, like the ones he pinned on his board. But this one was worst. And time, he couldn't pin it anyway, he could only be painfully aware of its existence.