In Another Universe

Sunday 16.48 Fly Me to the Moon

The half-closed curtains, filtering what was left of the late afternoon light, allowed the stars above Charlie's bed to slight ever so slightly, and that was enough for the two of them. Lying in the bed, Isaac's back against the pillows and Charlie's head resting on Isaac's chest, they were staring at the little glowing stars. The Aussie played distractingly with Isaac's hand on his shoulder.

"I was scared you wouldn't like them... Maybe they would remind you too much of Australia."

Charlie shrugged, before shaking his head.

"That's... no, I was surprised. I didn't expect that... I mean, after everything... I didn't even know if I wanted to see them, you know... But it was calming, for some strange reason, that you remembered a stupid detail I told you about my empty ceiling and that you cared enough about making me feel better than you went through the trouble to do that... My second thought might have been that you may be a creep that broke in my flat," Charlie said, which made Isaac chuckle half-heartedly.

It was bittersweet, this moment, Charlie knew that. But if they were going to go somewhere, be something together, they needed to be honest. Isaac needed to know how upset his actions made Charlie, all of some misspoken words he didn't even address. So Charlie continued.

"But Evie told me you were convincing..."

"She was a tough cookie to break... She's really protective over you."

"I can imagine... She did say she thought it would at least help us talk... That it meant you were trying, that you had to care..."

Charlie thought Isaac might have an input on this. Maybe something to add, to explain but he stayed silent, playing with Charlie's fingers, listening.

"I mean... it helped... You did try, but... I didn't understand why, after everything... After, you know, the kiss... and you were gone, and you needed time and you went back to Emily... And then you came back to me again."

This time, Charlie turned around. He wanted to see Isaac's face and wait for explanations.

"Listen," he continued, "I know I messed up with the whole "crazy" thing... I shouldn't have said that, but I didn't know and... I'm a moron, you could probably have guessed that from every interaction we've had."

Looking down, Isaac took a deep breath.

"Communication is not my strongest suit... And I'm sorry. I truly am. It was just easier like I said. Emily knows me... too much sometimes. It's easy, comfortable even. And then you arrived and things changed... I wasn't fair with her, nor with you. Between the two of us, you sweet thing, I'm the moron... Or the jerk, depending on how you want to see it." He straightened up and sat down in front of Charlie who did the same.

"So... what about Emily?"

"It doesn't matter," he replied, maybe a bit too dry for Charlie.

"Yeah, that doesn't work like that, though... You kissed me and then a few days later, you went back to her like nothing ever happened... even if you told her. You can't just say it doesn't matter!"

Isaac looked down, playing with the sheets nervously.

"It's over now. I broke up with her after the party... That's why I live at my parents' for now..."

That was some information to take in. Okay, so after the disaster at the party, he didn't go after Charlie even though he was back with Emily, which changed the lense a little bit.

"But..." Charlie started. "That's. that's just part of the thing... She knew about us but... she was still here, ready to forgive you... I can't do that. Will she always be there, somewhere around? What if we have a fight or I say something dumb like I most likely will... will you just go back to her?"

There laid the true issue about that situation. If it was so easy with her, what happens when it's difficult between them? Isaac was wringing his hands, and Charlie could only imagine that this wasn't the kind of discussion he was having with Emily.

"Emily... She knows me too well, and yes, it's, you know, easier when you're like me to be with someone who already knows you, who is already there despite everything... I thought it was enough. It's not that I was unhappy, but I... I wasn't happy enough... But maybe easy was worth it, I was pretty sure of it. And then you came along with those stupidly beautiful blue eyes and your awkward smile. Now that I was aware of your existence, how could I not love you, how could easy be ever enough again? I got scared, because maybe I was wrong, because it's scary to show parts of yourself that people might not like and yes, Emily was still there but turns out I was right, it wasn't the same anymore. It's been a long time coming, it's not like we were madly in love anymore, but you were... I don't know... a wake-up call of some sort. But I'm here now and easy or not, scary or not, that, right here, us, is what's really worth it."

It took a few seconds for Charlie to take all of that in. It was a lot. A lot of everything. A lot of words, a lot of feelings but also a lot of pressure... What if he didn't end up being enough? Or too difficult? Or just not that worth it? It was scary, for sure, and it helped to know that he wasn't alone on that boat. But the slight glow of the stars on the ceiling above them caught his attention and as they kissed, Charlie remembered that no one had ever tried this much for him.