Tortuous

First time

"You hurt me. By choosing her and leaving me." I said.
"I'm sorry, Stacy didn't want me being friends with anyone she didn't know." Nico said.
"And how did you feel about that?"
"I was upset."
"I don't believe you."
"I swear, why wouldn't I be?"
"Why would you be? You clearly cared about your relationship with her more than our relationship."
"I hated that Stacy said that, and I really didn't care about my relationship with her that much. I tried to tell her that what she wanted me to do was wrong."
"Then why did you stop being friends with me?"
"Because I didn't want to just be your friend, I wanted something more with you. I didn't think you felt the same."
"I did want something more I was just afraid to tell you. I liked you a lot and I still do."
"I wish you would have told me earlier then everything would've been different. I get it though."
"Get what?"
"The reason why you didn't tell me. Can you ever forgive me?"
"I don't know if I can ever forgive you for leaving me."
"Yes you can, forgive me. Nico pleaded.
"How do I know you won't do this again." I cried.
"I'm not chill."
"How do you know that."
"Because I just know."
"HOWW!!!!"
"I'm never going to leave you again. Okay?"
"we'll see."
"Do you want something serious with me?" Nico said.
"Yes."
"Are you sure."
"One hundred percent."
His lips brush against mine but this time the kiss was soft and comforting. For the first time I knew that he felt the same way I did. We attended school in the mornings and the evenings as a couple. With all eyes on us, on me. Of course people whispered about how someone like me could get someone like him. But Nico made me feel so confident in us and myself that I never really even paid attention. When we went home, it was nothing but conversations and plans like this one.
"I'm not close to anyone." I said.
"You and I are close, I mean our relationship isn't forced, it's like we have this everlasting connection to each other."Nico said.
"I mean we kind of lost it in a sense."
"I think we have that connection still."
"Yeah."
"I'm glad you let me know you."
"Me too, I'm not staying in this city after this year." I said.
"Oh so you're going far away? He said.
"That's the plan, that has always been the plan."
"That's heartbreaking to know that you're leaving me."
"Me too."
"Jesus I'm going to miss you."
"Tell me, I shouldn't leave." 
"I can't."
"Why not?"
"I just want the best for you, Kathy."
"Maybe what's best for me is being with you."
"Trust me you are going to do big things."
"I want to do those big things with you." I cried.
"You're smart, You can't just throw that away, Kathy." 
"I don't do long distance relationships? So if I go and if you let me go we can never be together."
"I do long distance for the right person and you're the right person. I want to try."
"I don't know... if I can do it."
"Do what?"
"Try."
We sat in silence. We just wanted to stay together because we knew that our time was ticking. Silence for us was better than words, it let us be in that moment with each other and feel that spark of love between what had already existed. Us.
"I love you Nico." I said.
"I love you too." Nico said.
"Take me back to your place."
"Yes ma'am."
When we arrived at Nico's house. I kissed him over and over, until his soft, warm hand lifted my chin to stop me.
"I'm ready," I whispered.
Nico slowly trailed down my neck, planting sweet kisses along the length of my body until he reached my lower half. A mixture of emotions shot straight into my body : love, lust, and excitement. Unable to contain myself, I got on top of him, wrapping my legs on either side of his body. I rubbed my hands over the zipper and unbuttoned his pants. Steadily moving his zipper down unprepared for what was to come. He looked me into my eyes reaching for my shirt. I nodded reassuring him this is exactly what I wanted. He rapidly flipped the both of us over, so he would be on top. He removed my clothing as if he was in a rush. Taking matters into my own hands I slid the condom on him myself. Mentally preparing myself for the hand full I had. He let out a breathy chuckle. I'm sure he wasn't expecting me to take charge, but it is my body.
"Go easy," I said not wanting anything to go wrong.
"If I can control myself," Nico said gliding his hands softly over my left breast.
He steadily pushed himself into me until I let out groans in the process. I could the feel the gut-wrenching pressure. With a swift stroke he was in causing me to jolt my body quickly into his, grabbing his back.
"Fuck," I moaned into his ear without hesitation.
Both of us moaning loud with each thrust. Pushing on each other's body as if super glue was between us.
"Stop clenching up so much or I'll cum quick" he said with short breath.
"Can't help being tight," I replied.
We simultaneously let out laugh. After what seemed like hours we both were close.
"Faster," I yelled in anticipation.
"Aaahhh" Nico spout as he came.
I let out a loud moan shortly after climaxing with Nico. He collapsed on top of me. Bodies sweaty like they were in a sauna.
"You're the best I've ever had" Nico said to me with the biggest smile on his face.
"I'm the second you've had," I replied with slight confusion."
"Second yes, but first to make me cum like this," he said passionately kissing me.
"I knew I was good" I replied returning the favor.
     Later that night we laid up together with his arms wrapped around me. I thought that I could never love someone this much until Nico. Losing him is unimaginable. It felt wrong for me to want someone this bad. I've opened myself up to him so much that we definitely had that connection. That connection with him scares me.
"You know you didn't have to say I love you just because I said it, right?" I said.
"Oh I know that." Nico said confidently.
"Why do you love me."
"I'm not good at explaining this in words but I know why."
"Me neither and you should tell me."
"A different day I will."
"Why can't you tell me now, I'm dying to know now."
"I'll tell you a different time I promise."