Broken Like Me

[ Part Two ]

Travis' POV

I can't believe I did that. I made him bleed. I locked myself into the bathroom stall, putting my face in my hands. I winced, feeling the swollen bruise around my eye. I really was just like my father.

I took my notebook and a pen out of my backpack, remembering something my mom had told me. Writing down what your feeling always helps, or so she says. I didn't really believe it, seemed like a gay thing to do. But oh well. Worth a shot I guess.

I know we don't really know each other and you probably have your opinions of me. I thought maybe if I told you how I feel, things could be different. The truth is, I can't stop thinking about you. I'm crazy about you. I think you're amazing! But I know these feelings are wrong. It's not the way a boy should feel. Shame swallows me whole. My father would kill me but I can't live in his shadow forever I just...

The tears falling from my eyes smudged the ink on the paper. I scratched my pen over the last lines angrily, feeling even worse than before. If my dad could see me now...I cringed at the thought. I crumble up the paper angrily, throwing it over the top of the stall. All I could do was bury my face in my hands and cry.

That when I heard the door creak open. I did my best to silent my quiet sobs, listening to the sound of paper being unfolded. Shit. I looked at the shoes coming towards me, recognizing them instantly. Shit!

"Anyone in there?"

What do I do? Say nothing? Say something? Either way I'm screwed. "No duh, fuckwad! Buzz off!"

"Travis? Were you just...crying a second ago?"

I couldn't tell if my heart was beating too fast to feel it or if it had stopped completely. "No! What the hell? Can't a guy get some privacy?"

"It okay to have emotions." Maybe for him.

"Yeah, for queers! Just leave me alone, alright?!" I could feel the urge to cry scratching at the back of my throat.

"Why do you hate me so much?" That made my stomach turn. I do hate him. More than anything. For making me feel the way I do, the way I shouldn't.

"Because you and your friends are a bunch of homos! It's sick! It's not right! God will never love you! Why should I?!" I couldn't stop the tears at the point. They burned like acid on my cheeks.

"You know we actually aren't all gay, right? Expect for Todd. He is super gay. But that's part of who he is and I think it's wonderful. He's one of the kindest people I know. How could anyone hate Todd?" He was right. I barley knew the guy but I've only heard great things about him. I didn't really have an argument for that.

"Ugh!"

"You don't even know us." If only he knew how much I wish I did.

"I know enough. Just leave me alone." Please don't.

"Is your father pushing his beliefs on you?" I clenched my fists, but in reality the anger was all fake. It's the sadness that made me feel the way I did when he mentioned my dad.

"Just because my father is a preacher doesn't means he owns me! I'm my own person!" Not really.

"I don't believe you."

"I don't need you to, freak! Just leave me alone..." I tried to breath in to cry quieter, but that only resulted in a horrifying sob noise echoing through the bathroom.

"You seem so unhappy man, are you sure your dads not putting too much pressure on you? I bet it's tough being the son of such an intense man." Hit the nail right on the head there, Fisher.