Working Through Fear

Heart of Stone

"Can I open my eyes yet?" I laugh, pulling myself up onto the ledge that Nina put my hand on.

"Not yet," Nina says, pulling me up. "Lie down."

"And then can I open my eyes?"

"Be patient," Nina says, squeezing my hand.

I lie down slowly, wincing slightly as my head hits the roof a little harder than I intended.

"Now?"

"Now."

I open my eyes slowly, looking at Nina. She's looking at me, expecting me to react to something, and I smile.

"I didn't bring you up here to stare at me," she laughs. "Look up."

I do, and the sight that greets me is beyond any magic I have ever seen or done before. I've seen the stars before, but the darkness, the trees, and the vast expanse of dark blue sky above us leaves me breathless.

"Woah," I breathe out. "That's – that's amazing."

"Have you ever seen the stars?" Nina asks.

"Yes," I nod. "There was a window in my room where I grew up."

I don't say a name. I have said no names apart from my own. I don't know what they might be using to trace me. I won't risk anything.

"Your room?"

"Cupboard," I correct myself.

It's closer to the truth if she's referring to its size. By the time I was thirteen, I could barely lie down, stretched out, with the door closed. Which it always was.

I take Nina's hand, curling my fingers around her palm. I can feel her rings and I smile. She wears two, one black, on her right, middle finger. One white, on her left middle finger.

"Do you like the house?" She asks.

"Yeah," I say, frowning slightly. "Why?"

"Wishing my sister could see I'm not completely useless," Nina mutters.

"What do you mean?" I look at her.

"After school," Nina explains, "there's another type of school called a university."

I nod, storing the information somewhere in my head. I want something to think about when I go back to Azkaban.

"I was studying post-modern literature, Nina continues, "but after the news came back that my dad had died, in the army, I just – I dropped out. Nothing was working. My sister was angry, especially when I found this place on the cheap and moved."

"Your dad died?"

"Yeah," Nina mutters. "I've got no idea why he went back either. Mum died in the army too. He used to talk about how much he hated it."

"And he went back," I finish. "I'm sorry."

"Can we not talk about it?"

"Of course. Thank you for bringing me up here. It's – beautiful."

"It's easier to forget everything," Nina nods. "Up here."

"I don't want to forget this," I say quietly, unsure of how I phrase what I need to tell her.

"You say that as if you might forget."

"I won't," I say. "But I'm going to leave tomorrow morning."

I look at Nina when I realise that she's looking at me, offering her a pathetic attempt at a reassuring smile.

"I have to leave," I say. "Before, if they'd have found me, it wouldn't have mattered. But now you know about our world, and you know about me. If they find us together, they can make you forget this. They can make you forget me."

"I won't let them," Nina says. "I won't let them make me forget."

I bite my lip as a tear streaks from the corner of my eye, into my hair. While I wish I could believe that we could get away, still be together, I know that we're no match for either the ministry or Rodolphus.

"Delphi?"

"We can't fight," I shake my head. "Once they know where I am, they'll send a small army to arrest me. We'd go down in flames."

"At least we'd go down together," Nina says quietly.

"I," I take a deep breath, "I am all right, I think, with going back – there. But I need to know that someone, outside, cares. Please."

"Will I be able to contact you?"

I pause, searching for an answer. If Elise has managed to get away with helping my escape, I could probably ask her to take the letters. But that's only a small possibility.

"Maybe," I mumble. "Maybe, if I tell them you were a witch, they'll let me write."

"'They'll let you'?" Nina frowns.

"I'm going to turn myself in," I shut my eyes. "If they're not looking for me, they won't find you."

"Are you – Okay – with that?"

"I am if I know you're memories are safe."

I stare up at the sky. I want to remember this. Now. I want to remember now, until forever.

"You see that?" Nina points at a particular group of stars.

"Yeah?"

"That constellation is called Delphi."

"Constellation?"

"A group of a stars."

"I'm a group of stars?"

"Yes," Nina smiles. "Yes. You are."