Working Through Fear

Erasure

Rodolphus walks towards me, his wand outstretched. Euphemia and Antlia are stood behind him, the latter holding a short piece of parchment in one hand.

"Delphi," Rodolphus says softly.

"Fuck off," I mutter, staring blankly forwards.

"What is about to happen," Rodolphus ignores me, "is Nina's fault."

"It's your fault," I look up at him. "Or it's my fault."

"Believe me," Rodolphus says, "it's her fault." He pauses, and then. "Crucio!"

Pain, worse than anything I've ever felt, shoots through every inch of my body. It's like someone is repeatedly smashing all my bones, over and over. And I scream. I keep screaming, begging and pleading for them to stop, but nothing changes. The pain just gets worse, and I can't take it.

And then it stops.

I pull myself up, tears streaming down my face, and I look up at my captors. Antlia is laughing. That is what hurts.

"Whose fault?" Rodolphus asks.

"Yours," I spit.

"Let me explain again," Rodolphus snarls. "She used you. She never loved you. But you must feel pain to understand that and remove her from yourself."

"That won't help you!" I struggle to keep my breathing vaguely steady.

"She never loved you," Antlia mutters. "Love, in the way she claims to love, is not possible. You owe her no promises."

I don't get a chance to reply before a fresh wave of pain hits me and I curl up again, sobbing and screaming. I try and force myself to remember that this is my fault, and theirs. Not her's. But each time I think I've managed to collect my thoughts, each time I begin to fight, the pain worsens with another wave.

"My fault!" I scream as the pain stops again. "My! Fault!"

"Delphi," Antlia crouches beside me, lifting my chin. "It's her fault. You owe her no promises. We can help you to find the love you want."

"Even if I don't have to keep my promise to her," I croak, "I'll keep it for myself. I don't want to cause any more pain."

"And that," Rodolphus smirks, "is why you need to feel this pain."

Delphi screamed, collapsing for a third time and writhing violently on the floor. Every part of her seemed to be shaking as she shouts echoed around the hall, increasing constantly in volume.

The sound was joined by Rodolphus' laughter, but she could barely hear it, not due to her screams, but due to the pain in her head.

"Please!" I shriek. "Please! I'll do anything."

What scare's me most is that I'm beginning to believe him. I know it's his fault, my fault, but the pain tears me apart. In the midst of all of it, part of me wants to blame Nina, even though she has done nothing.

Delphi froze slightly as another thought crossed her mind. Nina had done very little to fight, and everyone else had done even less. That was why she ha ended up where she was. That was why she was feeling the pain she was feeling. That was why she was weak.

"Whose fault?"

"Mine," I whisper, my throat feeling like it's bleeding. "My fault."

I haven't got the strength to fight the fourth wave of pain. It comes, and I don't resist the thoughts that come with it. And that destroys me.

"Whose fault?"

Delphi looked up at him, her eyes empty and calm. There was no trace of pain in her expression and she almost seemed to be smirking.

"Her's," she said calmly.