Austin Whomped and More

The Badass Life of Austin Whomped

MALE CHARACTER POV:

Hello. My name is Austin Whomped. I'm evil. I kill kittens for a hobby.

I'm a gang leader. My gang's name is Starfire Rose Nights or as they call it: Motherfuckers.

A unique name, if I say so myself.

I am going to inherit my position from my mom, Samantha Betchu Donnow Whomped. My dad left my mom when she was pregnant. And years later, I shot him through the head.

I'm turning 18 this year and I'm the bad boy of the school. With my leather jacket that I have a 1000 copies of, my motorcycle, and my playboy personality, I successfully check every box in the "Bad boy" category.

I'm hot as the sun and there are rumors that I'm in a gang (so they're not really rumors). I also date the cheerleader team's captain: Joshua George. And he's fucking sexy.

Lol. No. It's a she. Jenessa George. And she's fucking sexy.

And today, a new girl came to high school. And she looks like a fucking nerd that will surprise me with her strength and courage by facing me off and dodging my advances so I'll fall in love with her. And when she finally dates me, she hears that I'm dating her just for the fun of it and we'll fight and I'll cry and then we'll shout and then we'll make up again and then an epilogue that starts with '10 years later' will show us married with 1 and a half children- half cause she's still pregnant. And we'll live happily ever after.

And so, as soon as I saw the girl, I went the other direction and promised myself not to engage with her cause it's too much trouble and there are more important things than drama.

I meet with my bbfs (best bros forever) in the cafeteria. Unsurprisingly, they are also in my gang. Because why the fuck not.

Fars Toddzel is my right hand guy. He does stuff in the gang that are too confidential for me to say so I fucking won't.

And Diaz Diary, my left hand guy. Who does shit too.

And together we form: The Three Fuckers.

Jenessa is hanging off of my incredibly muscly muscular biceps as I eat the sandwiches that Mom packed for me.

The nerd girl is staring at me, so I flip her off and return to my healthy pickles and onions with mustard sandwich.

When I finish eating. My bbfs and I go to the toilet to pee.

I peed a lot because I drank a lot of water.

The longest time it took me to finish peeing was 5 minutes and a third.

I washed my hands and headed back to the cafeteria where, apparently, Jenessa poured soda on nerd girl. So then nerd girl throws spaghetti on Jenessa. And they tackle each other and start a cat fight with Buffy Haussmann recording the whole thing.

Diaz elbowed me and told me to "Fucking do something."

So I went. Separated my lady and the girl away from each other. Pushed the girl to the ground. Carried my lady bridal style. Put her on my very sexy motorcycle, headed to her home, had her take a shower and then gave her a massage because a man has to treat his lady right.

Jenessa isn't just some bitch, Jenessa is my soulmate. That's what I interpreted our awesome sex as, cause you don't just have incredible sex like none other without being destined to each other- and trust me, I fucked a lot of people.

LINEBREAK!LINEBREAK!LINEBREAK!

The next day, the girl, Cora Fiona NutPrettee, came to me during the lunch break when I exited the toilet without my bbfs to accompany me.