Austin Whomped and More

Keeping Custody of the Twins

NO CHARACTER POV :

"There was a farmer who likes fun and Perv was his name-o! P, E, R, and V! P, E, R, and V! P, E, R, and V! And Perv was his name-o!" Drexel sang.

"One, two! Fuck a shoe! Three, four! You're a whore! Five, six! Grind on sticks! Seven, eight! Please no hate! Nine, ten! You lost a pen!" Felicia sang.

"DREXEL AND FELICIA! TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE RIGHT NOW!" Mrs. McGruffining shouted.

***
"Mr. Yo-MommA, what your children...sang today was totally unacceptable! Six year olds should not say such stuff! What Miss Felicia said was especially shocking! I understand that you are still getting used to being an only parent, but you're not adapting fast enough. And soon, this will be at the expense of your twins. The kids' academics and manners are going down to the worse!"

"Mr. Ma-Mein, you told me last time we had a meeting that my kiddos need to learn more children appropriate songs as opposed to rap. And I did just that!"

Mr. Ma-Mein sighed, "But Mr.Yo-MommA, children's songs don't have in them the words whore or fuck or whatever else your kids were singing! The songs were turned into utter garbage! How could you teach them such things! Don't you see how damaging this is to their childhood!"

Mr.Yo-MommA frowned, "But. I didn't teach them that. They created the lyrics on their own. You told me the meeting before last time that I should let my kids' creativity shine. And I did. I don't get what's bothering you!"

"Mr. Yo-MommA. I don't know how to say this without offending you so I'll say it right out. You are the dumbest, most ignorant, and most oblivious parent and person I have ever met throughout my years as a principal and as an individual. If things keep on going like this, then the twins are going to be sent to their mother. You are not equipped to single handedly raise a child- let alone two."

"What?" Mr.Yo-MommA whispered heart brokenly, "Y-you can't do that. These are my children! You can't take them away from me! S-surely there is another option!"

Mr. Ma-Mein stares at Mr. Yo-MommA for a while before he said, "I guess there's another option."

"Oh thank you! Thank you so much-"

"But," Mr. Ma-Mein sternly continued, "This is your last chance."

The principal paused to see Mr. Yo-MommA eagerly nod before resuming, "You have two weeks. If I don't see any slight progress in your children's manners and academics, I'll be telling someone about this. Understood?"

"Yes! Yes, understood! Definitely sir! I-I'll try my best! You won't be disappointed, I promise!" Mr. Yo-Momma frantically exclaimed as he gratefully shook Mr. Ma-Mein's hand.

*****
"Kids," Killian said once he gathered his kids around him in the living room that same day, "There's something important I have to tell you."

"What is it daddy?" Drexel asked.

"I want you to know that I love you both soooo much," Killian said.

"We love you too daddy!" Felicia exclaimed.

Killian smiled, "Yeah, daddy knows that. You- you know how when mommy and daddy divorced and the old man said that you both stay with me?"

"Yeah. Cuz we didn't want to go with mommy and leave you," Drexel answered and his twin nodded.

"Yeah. Well, Mr. Ma-Mein said that if I don't be a good daddy and keep you in check then you'll have to go to mommy."

Felicia stubbornly refuses to cry as she exclaimed, "But-But you are a good daddy!"