Austin Whomped and More

SECRET Premier Team (SPT)

NO CHARACTER POV:

"Agent Freakin' Hot! Report to the office immediately!" Director Real Fury demanded once the SECRET Premier Team(SPT) came back from a disastrous mission.

"Shiiiiittt....Okay. Alright. I'm coming. Calm your horses Really!" The aforementioned agent replied.

Freakin' ignored his rainbow colored team's snickers, as his ass will no doubt be handed to him by the director.

Being team captain suuuccckkkssssss.

But whatever.

He entered Real's office, with a blank look on his face, and sat down. Real glared at him. He glared at Real. And pretty much soon, his blank  facade crumbled.

"So, Really, how's life? Heard you actually got on it with Marz. Like, finally man! I've been shipping you guys for years! I was frustrated when you guys were pinning for each other for what- 6 years or something? But wow man. You finally did it. I feel old. You know, maybe I could meme this. You know that "Do you feel old now" meme? That would be awesome. Ranger Dorm would burst a lung laughing! Ahahaha...Ahahaha...Haha...Ahaha...But it's a dead meme. So. I don't know."

"You're finished now?" Real asked with that 'Wow, Freakin', you're still using that tactic, really?' look on his face.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm done. You know what's funny? You're called Real and like everyone on my team often calls you Really and like right now you have that 'Really?' look on your face-You're doing it right now!-and it's awesome or creepy or both and-"

"FREAKIN'!"

He finally shuts up.

"Now, tell me why the FUCK is my Premier Team looking like a bunch of rainbow colored FUCKING MORONS!"

"...You're asking why the FUCK are we morons or why-"

"AGENT!"

"Okay. Okay. The truth is...Well, can you handle the truth? Director?"

"Yes, you fucking asshat!"

Asshat? When did Really start censoring himself? I bet it's Marz.

"So. You know how gay people are like demanding to be treated fairly and shit?"

"How does that-"

"Shut up for a little bit, Fury. So. You know the LGBTQ+ and that stuff. So. We were helping the cause. And it seemed like a good idea to paint ourselves. I think."

Silence.

"The urge to punch your face hasn't been this strong for years. And if you don't want to lose your title  as 'Freakin' Hot'  because I punched the crap out of you, then, stop. With. Your.  Fucking. BULLSHIT!"

Agent Freakin' did not squeak like a frightened little girl(or boy). He's the team captain! The Alpha Of the Team! ...And if he did squeak, then it was definitely a manly one. The most manliest squeak to ever manly the world. A squeak worthy of a captain...Yes...

I mean, look at it from a positive point of view, Really returned to his uncensored way of speaking. (That counts as a positive, right?)

Freakin' took a deep breath, a very very deep breath,"Well. It started fairly well. And we defeated all the McBird Bots and we were winning but then McBird shows up and well...hesaidthatitwasmyfaultthathebecameevilbecauseilaughedathimforslippinginthecorridorinmiddleschoolandfromthenitwasrevengeandthenilaughedagainbecuaseWTFwasthatexcuseandthenhegotsadandwefought. And then this happened." Freakin' finished.