When Darkness Falls - LOKI - Book One (Editing)

39. Desperate

     "Well don't you look lovely?" Loki mocked as Athelia appeared aside his desk. He was stretched out on his bed, tossing his silver goblet in the air as if it was just another Monday and she was there for another pleasant afternoon chat. "I guess a congratulations are in order?"

      Athelia glanced down at wedding gown and cringed, wishing she had morphed into something else before coming, but she didn't have a lot of time and had to do this quickly.

      "Who's Thanos Loki?"

      He held the goblet for a moment, contemplating and answer, but chose to ignore her and continued to toss it until Athelia was next to his bad and snatched it mid air.

      "Tell me who is," she demanded, her voice more pleading than she had intended, but if there was ever a time to give her an answer it was now.

       His eyes met hers for just a moment before they trailed down every inch of her body, leaving her feeling as if his hands were all over her. She cringed, holding her fists tight as she pushed away whatever hold his look had over her and once again, demanded an answer.

      "Please. Loki, please just tell me."

      She backed away quickly as he jumped up from the bed. He brushed off his pants and adjusted the sleeves if his suit shirt and walked passed her, his eyes never leaving her. "You should leave."

     Athelia couldn't take it. She had been there only a moment and she had broke just as she knew she would. It was exactly why she didn't want to be here, but she couldn't marry Thor without at least trying one last time.

     "I'm not leaving until you tell me why you won't let me get you out of here," she shouted at him, her voice cracking somewhere in the middle. "Just let me get you out of here."

      She could feel the wetness in her eyes, threatening to spill down her cheeks. Loki looked at her like she was the most pathetic thing he had ever seen and she felt it in every bone in her body.

     "Athelia, just stop."

     "Tell me!" Her eyes flickered back and forth between the beautiful shade of blue Loki adored looking at and the devilish hue that only her darkness could wear so well.

      "Why?" He shouted back at her, sending the goblet flying past her head and into the shield. A chill ran through her as his blue hue flashed in his neck for just a moment and she stood down, not wanting what could possibly be there last encounter today end up with one of them being stabbed again. "After all of this. After everything that has happened, why are you still so desperate to seek the truth?"

     "Because the truth can change everything."

     "No, it can't." he said, shaking his head.

     "Only because you won't let it." She stepped forward, but his deadly glare stopped her in her tracks and her voice faltered. "You said the truth doesn't always set you free. What truth could you possess that would make you say something like that?"

     Loki gritted his teeth as she continued to push him, but he was not about to break. He couldn't, not after everything they had done to each other. He knew very well that she cared for him, that she wanted him, but he didn't care about she wanted, he only cared about what she needed and lifetime with him, was not the answer.

     But she pushed and she pushed until she was so close that his legs quaked, but even then, he couldn't tell her and he had to watch her heart break again.

     "Stop!" He shouted, the lights flickering above him. "Just stop. Athelia, stop doing this to yourself. It's pathetic. Do you truly think I care what you want or thag watching you cry in your wedding dress will stir some emotional response and I will just tell you everything you want to know."

      She stared at him, almost believing his hostile approach. He was good, but Athelia knew better.

     "You do care," she said as she back him against his desk. "I know you do, if you didn't you never would have shown me who you really are."

      Loki stared down at her, the unfamiliar makeup around her blue eyes smudged with the wetness and he clenched the edge of the desk tightly as he imagined ripping that heinous dress from her body and taking what he so desperately wanted for himself. But for the first time in his life, he couldn't think about himself and he had to put an end to this, before she completely lost it.
     
    "Do you really want to know why I won't tell you?" He asked, standing straight against her. She stumbled backwards as he continued to step forward until she hit the wall. "The truth is more than just a name, Athelia. What happened to me and what I did, changed me in ways you could never understand. You were born of darkness, you understand how your mind works. I don't. The only thing I know is that I was not forced to enjoy what I had done, but I did."

     "I was not born of darkness Loki, it was forced on me when I was a child. I have done things you could never imagine and I too had enjoyed them, but now I know there is a different way to live my life and I could help you fight it."

     "You don't get it." He stepped closer, nearly inches away from her. "We would destroy each other Athelia. Do you really think I want to sit down here in this cell while you marry my witless oaf of a brother? While he ravages you and calls your name in the middle of the night?"

    "Loki."

    "Athelia, I could give you the answers you seek. I could give you my heart and I could make you scream my name until your body falls limp. I could give you what you want, but I could never give you what you truly need."

    "And what is it that you think I need?"

    "Power and a throne to start," he chuckled before growing more serious. "Athelia, I know you think my truth could give you both, but I could never give you anything else. We are whores for power. Together we could conquer worlds but we would never be able to grow old and rule them because together we would monsters."

     She shook her head violently. "That's not true."

     "It is though. You need a throne to keep the peace between our two worlds and I wish I was the one that could give that to you, I do, but I'm not."

    "And you think you're brother is."

     Loki gritted his teeth, almost incapable of admitting to such a thing, but he knew it was the only way. "He could give you the throne, but he could also give you happiness. He could give you the love of a child, comfort and safety. He could give you everything you need to live a long life in the light, away from the dangers of your darkness."

     "And what if I'd rather live in the darkness with you than in the light with someone else." She wasn't sure if she meant such a thing, but she needed to know what he would say. She wanted him to ask her not to marry Thor. She wanted him to tell her that he would do anything to sit beside her on throne even if it meant a lifetime of battling their darkness together, but somehow she knew that he was not ready to move from the shadows that Thanos had casted him in.

     "Nobody wants to live in the darkness Athelia. At least nobody worth living your life with."

     "But you do, don't you?"

     The dungeons doors began to open, breaking the gaze they had on one another. Neither of them could find anything else to say to one another other than goodbye and Loki stood back, holding back all of his anger as he watched the broken girl disappear in a white haze like she had many times before, but this time, this time he knew was the last time and though a part of him wished he would have stopped her, he knew he couldn't.