When Darkness Falls - LOKI - Book One (Editing)

30. Remember

Freya winced as Athelia took her frustration out on her hair. Piece by piece she intertwined the brunette locks tightly against her head and piece by piece she cursed the God of Thunder.

"You know you should just talk him," Freya pleased as Athelia pushed her head forward with one hand to continue the braid down her back. "It's not like you hit him that hard. He's clearly not dead."

She rolled her eyes as the thunder rumbled in the skies above them. Neither had seen an Asgardian storm since they had been here and it had proved to be relentless, much like Athelia's need to be right.

"It would be easier if he was." She snapped. "I mean honestly, did he really think I would wear it? I mean, it was beautiful yes, but -"

"But what Athelia?" Freya snapped and pulled away, taking her intricate braid in her own hands to tie off. Athelia's eyes widened at Freya's boldness and stepped back, allowing her to give her piece. "Athelia he was being kind. He's not wrong you know. I love you. You are like family to me and though I know you deny it fiercly, I know you love me and maybe I have spent to much time here, but I don't find anything wrong with that."

"Freya." She warned.

"No," Frey snapped back. "You can't use that tone with me anymore. I am not a child. I am not blind and I know you. You speak big words, but you make small actions because you are so afraid to let people see you. Because you fear they are only going to see the darkness. But I can promise you they wont, because when I look at you, I see anything but."

Athelia stood still, stunned for words as the for the second time that she had been put in a place where she didn't want to be.

"Nobody knows you here Athelia. Nobody knows what you have done. Everything they have heard is pure fiction if you want it to be. They want to love you as much as they love him. I mean Hel, Athelia, they've been parading for days and planning celebrations for your wedding day."

"You can go now."

"Really?" The girl scoffed, folding her hands across her blue dress. "That's it? That's all your going say. You do realize that I am dying right? That a year from now when you're sitting on your throne, I won't be there for you when you have no one else to talk to. I won't be there for you to rip my hair out every time your angry or read books to everytime your bored. Your whole life everyone has been so afraid to tell you what they really thought. I have been afraid, but I can no longer sit by and watch you do this to yourself."

Athelia couldn't help but smile angrily as her blood boiled over and that frustrated the young girl even more, to the point where tears began to form in her eyes.

"After everything you've done and everything you've been through, I still believe that you deserve happiness and that should account for something if not everything. I have seen the worst of you and you are not that person. If you were, Asgard would have fell with your first days here. You're just too scared."

"Yes, Freya, I am scared, because I destroy and ruin everything I touch. I ruined my father. I ruined you. I ruined Dolcia to the point where she fled back to Dorian. I am not scared of what people think of me, I am scared of what I would do to them if they made it known. Do you understand that? I was not made for a world like this. I was never meant to see the stars or to wear silk dresses or a beautiful ring. Bronen thinks I don't remember, but I do. I remember bits and pieces of the parts he washed away. I remember that I am not truly the Goddess of truth, but of darkness. I remember the horrible things I have done and I know the horrible things I will do. So no, I do not believe I deserve happiness or love."

"You can't think like that Athelia."

"I can't afford not to." She snapped. "I hurt someone I care very much about, and if I could hurt them, then what's to stop me from hurting you or Thor or Fandral or Volstagg?"

"You mean Loki?"

"What?" She asked, her voice scratching. "What are you talking about?"

"Loki?" Freya said again. "You stabbed Loki. Your hurt Loki. You didn't hurt anybody else but him."

Athelia shook her head.

"Don't try to deny it Athelia." She said. "You think I wouldn't find out that's where you go at night. I know you. I know when you're hiding something and I know how to find out. You are the one who trains me after all."

"This has nothing to do with that."

"So you do see him?"

"I do not love him, Freya. How does that even begin to make sense? We have arranged meetings at the request of the Queen."

"You're nothing like him. I hope you know that." Freya, said, her head hung as she began to walk towards the door. Athelia wasn't finished though and wanted to know what she meant and she followed after her.

"Freya?"

"Because you were willing to give up the throne to save someone you loved. He would not do the same for you." She said as she opened the door, but she jumped back as Lady Siff raised her arm to knock.

"How long have you been there?" Athelia demanded, but Lady Siff did not respond. In turn she looked down at Freya and smiled, asking her if she was ready for dinner before the two of them walked away.