Moving on with you (complete)

Sixteen

The days were counting down to the 6 month mark of Alex's death. I made plans to go back home for the the day. I needed to be near her, although I was doing better I couldn't deny this was a hard time for me, Cal could sense it.

Harry walked into my room with perfectly shaped pancakes, he settled down on top of the bed covers with me and smiled. "I'm so glad they deliver food at 9am." He laughed. "Me too, I wouldn't trust your cooking." I smiled, putting some of the fluffy mix in my mouth. "Hey, I'm a great cook I'll have you know." He nudged me. "Loading up the Uber eats apps isn't the same as cooking."

"Ooof, you're full of cracks today aren't you." He teased. "It's the excitement of pancakes in bed." I whined. He went silent for a while, I assumed just to dig into his morning food. he pulled up one knee to his chest, folding his other leg underneath the arch. I carried on eating, picking up a strawberry with my hand and chucking it back down my throat.

"Can I call you my girlfriend yet?" He mumbled. I almost choked on my food in the shock. "What?" I said with a mouth full of food.

"Look, I know we're taking it slow, and I know it's a big step for you. But this doesn't have to change anything. I just, I'm just sitting here thinking this is what I want. And I suppose I need to know if you feel that way too." He said showing a more sensitive side to himself.

"Harry-" I started causing him to sigh and look away. "I'm scared okay." I said in a more huffed manner.

"About what?" A clear tone of frustration.

"Feeling something for you. I don't know if I can open myself up to you how you want me to." I said genuinely feeling guilty.

"I loved someone before you know." He blurted out. "You never told me." I mumbled before realising I never gave him the chance, he'd been so supportive around Alex and me, I never even asked about him.

"We broke up, I thought I was in love with her. I was. But we just needed to go our own ways. I'm not oblivious to feeling love. I have felt it too. I know what it's like to lose someone, maybe not in the way you lost Alex but it doesn't mean it was any less painful for me." He moaned.

"Harry, I never said you were. I just didn't know. I'm sorry." I started before he cut in.

"It's not the point I'm trying to make. Look what I'm trying to say is I feel something here. I really like you. I just need to know if you'll be able to feel that way about me." He said, the sadness in his voice.

"It hurts to admit it, I do have feelings for you Harry. But my heart is still with Alex, I can't shut that off believe me I've tried. I haven't thought of anyone else since her death but you've changed things. And that terrifies me." I said, his hand slipping inside mine, his eyes looking anywhere but at me. "But I don't want to fuck things up with you so would you mind if I called you my boyfriend?" I smiled.

"That's not what I meant, ugh nothing is coming out right. I don't want you to feel like if you say no you'll fuck things up. I want you to want this." He mumbled. I squeezed his hand causing him to look at me.

"Will you be my boyfriend?"

"Yeah go on then." He said in a less serious tone after a very long pause. I let out a breathy laugh before he pulled me in by the back of the neck for a quick kiss on the lips.