Sea of lies (blue exorcist fanfic)

Giving up?/illusions

Rin's pov.

I can't do this any more.
I can't deal with this any more.

It was never my fault.
It's not my fault.

So why does everyone keep blaming me?

I thought Samuel loved and trusted me.
But he's Just as bad as everyone else.

I finally snapped. Standing there covered in flames. Tears were streaming down my face. No matter how much I tried to keep them in I couldn't.

"Rin?" he said. "What are you doing?" He continued.

I know I'm just imagining.
Even if I'm not I know he'll just die again like Shiro did. Shiro, I miss him.

But right now I have to figure out how to get this sick illusion out of my head.
"Your not real. Go away." I replied.
"What do you mean. I am real. Please Rin look at me!" He  protested.
"I said you not real so leave me alone."
"But I am real!"
"No your not I'm sick of these illusions. First Shiro. Then you what next? Am I gonna imagine everyone loves me or that I'm not Satan's frickin son!" I yelled. Crying even more I turned to look at him.
"Your not real and I know it " however he was sitting there in a pool of his own blood fully healed with Mephisto staring at him in shock and the exorcists speechless. Well other then Shima. He had passed out.

"Rin please. I am real. I'm sorry about Shiro that was one of fathers sick games. But I promise I'm alive. I'm ok."

I shook my head as Amaimon got up and walked over to me and placed  a hand on my shoulder.
"I'm not dead. What I'm about to tell you. You'll probably hate me for." I looked at him confused and still a bit on edge.

"I wasn't dead. I asked dad to pretend I was dead when he checked my pulse. I needed you to not exactly snap. But break so you could tell everyone how you felt. I knew that you struggled to tell people what you actually feel. So I guess I improvised."

"You improvised. You. You of all people. Why? You know what. I don't care. I'm done."
With that I opened the window and jumped out. Leaving the exorcists and my 'brothers' standing there.

Amainons pov
I've really messed up.
I just wanted Rin to express himself like I was never allowed to.
I hung my head in shame as I remembered that look on his face. Disgust. But mostly betrayal.
"Little brother my my what have you done" Samuel said facing me.
"Me?! It wasn't just me! You shouted at him!!! Saying that everything was his fault! At least I had good intentions!" I argued.
"Yes and look where that got you." He argued back looking slightly annoyed but no way was I gonna back down. It's his fault as well.
"You were the on-" I began before being  rudely cut off by one of the humans.

"RIN JUST JUMPED OUT THE WINDOW AND ALL YOU CARE  ABOUT IS WHO'S FAULT IT IS?! IT'S ALL OUR FAULT WE ALL PUSHED HIM TO  FAR! *sigh* the best thing we can do now is try and find him and apologise. Even you teach." Bon yelled.

Yukio's pov.
"No. I am not apologising to him. He killed Shiro. He killed our no he killed my  father. He's the reasons Satan killed your families. So why does that demon deserve our apology?!" There was no way in hell I was going to apologise to him.

"He's your brother Yuki!" Shiemi said.
"No he's not. He's a disgusting demon who I don't care about." I said plainly.
"Man, I don't know how he still cares about you."
"What?" Surely Rin felt the same way I did. We hate each other.
"He cares about you. Don't know why. You don't deserve to be his brother"

My brother still cares for Me?
But Why?