Luke's girl.

Chapter 18

I woke up at 8 the next morning; I let out a loud sigh and rubbed my eyes. Today I was going to my aunts house to see all my family before the funeral on Saturday. I got out of bed and went into the bathroom turning on the hot water. I felt numb today; like I didn’t have any words to say or any feelings to feel. I got into the shower and focused on the hot water running down my back. I stayed there looking at the floor for about five minutes before I started washing my hair and body. When I got out I heard my mum calling me; I threw on a hoodie and jeans and left my hair soaking wet.

“Are you ready?” My mum asked me when I got downstairs. I nodded my head. “Ok, we are going to leave in five minutes.”

“Ok, I’m going to wait in the car.” I went outside and leaned against the car looking at the ground, I got out my phone and called Luke, I knew he was sleeping; I didn’t want to talk to him, so I left a message. “Hey baby.” My voice cracked. “Uhm, I’m not felling the best today, mentally.” I let out a breathy laugh. “I woke up at 4 in the morning crying. I feel numb, like I don’t have any feelings in me.” I felt tears come into my eyes. “I love you, a lot and I really miss you. I just want to be beside you and be in your arms.” I wiped the tears that were falling down my face. “I miss you so much Luke. God, your name feels so right coming out of my lips. Is that really weird?” I laughed again. I heard the front door of my house open; mum was walking down the steps towards the car. “I have to go now, I love you.” I hung up the phone and got in the car.

“Was that Luke?” Mum asked.

“Mhmm. Voicemail though, it’s late where he is.”

“It must be hard being away from him.” I nodded my head. “Do you love him Hailey?” I didn’t know what to say, I hadn’t had a real conversation with my mother for more than five months and I have never told her about any of my crushes or my experience’s with guys.

“Yes. Very much, and he loves me too.”

“I know he does. I’m sorry for how these past weeks have been for you.”

“It’s not your fault Mum.” She didn’t answer me; she didn’t talk the rest of the drive. When we got to my aunts house there were about five other cars in the driveway. My aunts house smelt too much of flowers, to the point where it was sickening. I found my aunt in the kitchen talking to one of my cousins. I walked up to her and threw my arms around her shoulders; the last time I saw her was three days before Kylie died. After I said my hellos to everyone else on the main floor I went upstairs to see my littler cousins. I was the oldest of all my cousins now, my cousin Keith was nine months younger than me and he was in the room where all my other younger cousins were.

“Hailey!” My younger cousins came running up to me and hugged me.

“Hey guys.” I patted them on the head then sat next to Keith who was sitting on the couch. “Hey Keith.” He looked at me and smiled.

“How are you?” he asked.

“Numb is the only word that comes to mind. What about you?”

“Lamentation.”

“What?” I asked, Keith had a wide vocabulary and his mind was way beyond his years.