almost is never enough

4

Lili's POV

Ana, how can I explain Ana, she's like a friend, she helps me be the best version of myself, she's the one thats helping me reach my goal, what she says I follow, I'd be lost without Ana. But the thing about Ana, well, she's like an imaginary friend, I mean, She's the voice in my head, but, I can see her, in my head. She is a beautiful girl, a skinny brown eyed brunette girl, she likes to help people, people in need of a change, people like me.

The next morning

I woke up feeling dizzy, but ignored it, I came downstairs and greeted Cami with a smile.

"How did the date with Melton go?" I ask taking a seat in the couch

"Oh it was great" she replied happily

"Im so happy for you Cams" I said

"Thanks Lili, he makes me very happy" she said taking a seat next to me

"Soooo" She began "You know how my birthday is coming up soon?"

"Yeaaaah" I reply

"Well, I'm planing a trip to Mexico! You, me and Madeleine, just us girls"

"Thats great! I'm so exited" I replied with a smile

"Were leaving tomorrow" she said

"Wow okay, have you told Roberto?"

"Yup we have his permission" she said with a grin

"Amazing!" I started jumping up and down and instantly regretting it, I lost my balance due to my dizziness and fell to the floor

I heard Cami curse and then my vision went black.

A few minutes later I woke in my bed with Cami by my side with tears in her eyes

"Oh my god Lili, you scared the living hell out of me!" she said hugging me tightly

I hugged her back and said "Its okay, I'm okay" rubbing her back

"L-Lili?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you sta-starving yourself" she asked looking deep into my eyes

My heart skipped a beat and I swallowed the lump in my throat "Of course not"

"Lili, please tell me the truth, you've passed out three times this week" She said, tears forming at the edge of her eyes

"Im- I"

"Oh my god" she started crying , "How come I didn't notice, it was fucking obvious. I'm such a bad friend, god I'm such a bad friend!" She screamed

"Cami don't you dare blame this on yourself!" I told her staring at her wet eyes, with tears forming on my own

"H-how, how could yo do this to yourself?"

I was speechless

"Lili, you are so, very, beautiful" She said tears falling rapidly down her cheeks

I didn't say anything, I didn't believe her, Ana tells me otherwise

"fucking hell Lili" she said, disappointment all over her voice

And then suddenly I started crying, a lot. I couldn't stop crying, Cami stared at me and I rested my head in her lap, she started crying too.

"Im so sorry" I said crying

"Shh, its okay, your gonna be okay" She said caressing my hair

I told her everything. I told her about the hate, about the lies, all fucking the lies, about the tumblr group, about Ana. I told her absolutely everything. And I felt relieved, I felt grateful, I felt grateful to have people that love me and in life who are here for me.

We fell asleep for like 4 hours and Cami woke me up at like 3 pm, with dry tear stains in her cheeks

"We are getting you something to eat okay?" she said

"Okay" I said knowing I had no other option.

We went to the kitchen and I sat beside the kitchen counter

"What do you want to eat?" she asked me

I didn't answer her

"You have to eat something"

"I don't want to"

"When was the last time you ate? "

"I- I don't know"

She came to me and held my hand

"Please Lili"

"...fine"

She smiled and began preparing a sandwich, she gave it to me and sat in front of me, I just stared at it

"Eat it" she demanded

I grabbed the sandwich and took a small bite out of it

"I think I might have to cancel our trip" she said

My eyes widened "No, you are not cancelling our trip because of me, I can't ruin your birthday, I've already done enough" I demanded

"Lili your health is more important to me than a stupid trip"

"No, you are not cancelling that trip" I said

"But yo-"

"No" I interrupted her "We are going to Mexico and we will have an amazing time"

She smiled at me and I smiled back

"Okay, but with one condition" she said

"What is it?"

"You are gonna try to get better"

"Fine" I said

"Fine" she said satisfied with a big smile on her face "Now finish your sandwich, its getting cold"

I managed to eat 3/4 of the sandwich and ended up very full

"Good job" she said patting me on the back

I smiled and tried not to let Ana win over me

"Lets go pack for tomorrow" She ordered happily

"Sure" I said

As we went upstairs I started developing a slight pain in my stomach, and as we arrived to the room it started hurting more

"Cami, I don't feel so good.." I said holding my stomach

Then suddenly my stomach churned and I ran to the bathroom, Cami behind me, I immediately puked all the contents in my body

"Oh Lili" Cami said holding my hair

"This sucks" I said leaning against the wall.

"Are you done?" she asked

"I think so" I said getting up to brush my teeth

"I think your body isn't used to food yet" she said while I was brushing my teeth

I nodded and then we began packing our suitcase

"Have you told Mads about the trip?" I asked

"Yup, actually she's coming over in like an hour, were leaving in the morning so I told her she could sleep here"

"You can't tell her about my...problem" I said "You can't tell anyone"

"I won't" she said "But you will have to tell them eventually"

"I will, when I'm ready" I say

she nods and then hold up two dresses "Which one should I pack, the red dress, or the yellow one?" she asks

"Yellow" I reply