almost is never enough

8

Authors note: Hi guys, if you haven't already please read the chapter named 'please read' since I need help choosing the new title of the book and in that chapter I left some options you guys can vote for as the the new title of the book. You guys can also comment your own suggestions for the title.          -V💞

Lily's POV

We hung out a little on Cole's place and then at 5:00 Cole said he wanted to take me out somewhere so we headed to his car and he started driving

I turn on the radio after a few minutes and finally ask "Where are we going?"

"Remember our first date?" He says slightly smirking

"Of course I do" I reply and before I know it we had already arrived. We got out of the car to a beautiful park where we had our first date, Cole grabbed my hand and began leading me to the very edge of the park where a picnic blanket, a basket full of food, candles and two glasses of wine where waiting for us

"Cole this is amazing" I reply

He kissed me on the cheek and we sat down on the picnic blanket

He grabbed the basket and took out some sandwiches and a cake. He handed me a sandwich and gave me a slice of cake, doing the same for himself

I stared at the food for a while and then looked back at Cole too see him with a curious look while he took a bite of his own sandwich.

I gulped suddenly panicked about him knowing my secrets so I brought up a topic

"So what did you do while I was away?" I asked

"Nothing much, hung out with friends, watched Netflix, you know" he said

I nodded

He took another bite of his sandwich, staring at me, then my food, and then back to me

"Aren't you gonna eat?" He asked

My heart beat faster "yeah" I said just playing with my nails not daring to look in Cole's eyes afraid that if I did I would tell him everything

He sighed and unexpectedly grabbed my sandwich and began leading it to my mouth, I cringed, he noticed.

"Lily"

"Yes?" I said with tears developing in my eyes, still not looking at him

"Please" he said with a soft tone

And then I looked into his eyes and saw all the pain, worry and concern in them, and then suddenly I began crying, tears falling rapidly down my cheeks.

"Hey, hey it's okay" he said pulling me into his arms

"It's not it's really not" I say digging my head in his T-shirt

"What are you doing to yourself baby?" He said his voice trembling, he was begging to cry. Cole never cries.

"I'm sorry" I say not being able to say anything else

"It's okay baby, it's okay" he whispered into my ear tears falling down his face

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" I begin to say again

"Shhhh" he says rubbing my head

The night grows dark while he whispers comforting words into my ear, kissing my forehead repeatedly and rubbing my head

Cole's POV

Lily falls asleep in my embrace and after a few minutes of just thinking about what just happened I get up and carry my weightless girlfriend back to the car

As I'm driving, thoughts are running through my head about how I could have helped her sooner and how I didn't notice that she was starving herself.

After a while we arrive to my house and I carry her to my bed, cover her up and kiss her scalp before leaving to the living room. I sit on the couch and my hands go though my hair in stress thinking about Lily

After I finish trying to understand the situation I suddenly start getting mad. Mad at me for not stopping her, mad at whatever caused her to start starving herself and mad at her, mad at her for causing pain to everyone, causing pain to me, causing pain to herself.

I get up and grab a vase from the table and smash it to the floor. I breathe heavily as I stare at the broken vase, then I cry, I cry the hardest I have ever cried on my entire life. Once I start crying I can't stop, I lean against the wall with a hand on my head slowly falling to the floor, once I am on the floor I pull my knees to my chest and continue sobbing with my head on my hands and finally fall asleep.

The next day

Lily's POV

I wake up at 11:00 am in Cole's bed and begin to look through the house to find him, I arrive at the living room after looking for almost the whole house and find a broken vase on the floor. I start getting worried so I rush to look around the house and still don't find him, now completely panicked I start to think of where I haven't looked for him, I begin to think where could he could be and then I realize I haven't checked the roof.

I run as fast as I can, climbing the stairs rapidly and finally arriving to the rooftop, and there he is.

He is staring down to the city below him with dry tear stains on his rosy cheeks

"C-Cole?" I said to him

He turned around to stare at me, making strong eye contact

"Do you even want to?" He said, voice trembling

"What?" I said confused

"Do you even want to get better?" He asked with pain in his eyes

"I-I don't" I reply honestly "but I can try to-" I start to say but he cuts me off

"Then I'm sorry" he says

"Sorry for what?" I ask getting a little scared

"I can't do this Lily, I can't be with you knowing that you want to destroy your body and I can't stop you. Because at the end of the day you can't get better if you don't want to" he says leaving, leaving me alone on the roof with my broken heart.