almost is never enough

7

Lily's POV

I wake up in the hotel room with a terrible headache and still on last nights outfit. I get up from my bed and my head screams at me causing me to start rubbing my temples. I look back at my bed and see Madeline peacefully sleeping with her mouth wide open.

I head to the kitchen to get some Tylenol and find Cami cleaning a little

"Oh hey Lily" she whispers already knowing I'm hungover

I give her a soft smile and go through my purse to see if I have Tylenol

"Here" Cami says behind me, handing me the pills and a cup of black coffee

"You're the best" I say grabbing the things and sitting in the couch, Cami taking place next to me

I lean my head on her shoulder while she flicks through the channels

"So you didn't get drunk?" I ask

"Someone needed to drive us home" she says choosing a Spanish novel

"God it should have been me or Mads who drove you back home, it was supposed to be your day" I say feeling a little guilty

"Don't worry Lily I had the best time, and you now that I don't like getting drunk"

We both burst of laughing at the obvious lie causing my head to hurt a little

"Remember that time when you got so drunk and almost had sex with a random dude with like a hundred piercings" I say with a slight laugh

"Oh god, I'm so glad I passed out before it could happen" she says

We keep taking for a while and watch Madeline getting out of her room with her hair all over the place and a blanket wrapped around her arms

"Hey" Cami and I greet her whisper

Madeline doesn't answer and just joins us in the couch snuggling next to me

"Does your head hurt?" Cami asks

"A little" she responds

I hand her the medicine and she thanks me with a smile.

"When are we going back home?" I ask

"We are leaving tomorrow" Cami answers

"I don't want to leaveee" Madeline groans

"Neither do I" Cami and I say at the same time

The next day we wake up early and head to the airport

"I'm gonna get Starbucks want something?" Madeline asks us

"No thanks" Cami says

"I'll have a chocolate chip cookie" I say

Cami sends me a proud smile

"Sure thing" Madeline says heading to the Starbucks on the airport

We get on the plane and I sit next to the window, Cami on the middle and Madeline next to Cami

At the middle of the flight both Cami and Madeline fall asleep and I grab a magazine and start looking through it.

The magazine is full of beautiful models with amazing bodies which makes me feel insecure, I keep looking at their bodies comparing them to mine

"You'll never be like them" Ana says

"I thought you were gone" I say to her

"I'm back, and I'm here to help you" says Ana

"I don't need your help" I respond

She laughs "You are nothing without me" she says

"Your a bitch" I respond

"That's no way to talk to a friend"

"You are far from being my friend"

"And you are far from beautiful" she says pointing at my stomach

I look down to it and notice I gained a little weight

"You ate like a pig on this trip! Do you even know how many calories you consumed?" Ana spits out

I look down in shame "I will fix myself" I tell her

"You better"

"I want to be beautiful but-"

"But what?" She says with her arms crossed

"But I don't want to suffer, I have a problem, a disease"

"You don't have a problem nor a disease"

"Yes I do, I have anorexia" I answer

"Anorexia is a lifestyle not a disease" Ana answers

"Ar-are you sure?" I ask

"Of course"

I begin think about how beautiful I would be if I really did reach perfection, how Cole would love me even more, and how proud Ana would be of me.

Then I decide that I will stop eating again

"Im gonna be perfect" I mumble to myself

Authors note:
Ana and Lily's conversation are inside Lily's head

We finally arrive home at 3:00 pm and I say goodbye to Cami and Madeline and drive to Cole's house

I arrive to his door and knock, excited to see my boyfriend

Cole's POV

I hear a knock on the door and open it to find my stunning girlfriend. A big smile appears on my face and I grab her by the waist and spin her around in the air.

She starts giggling and screams at me "Cole let me down!"

"Never" I say smirking

"Please let me down" she says seriously

And I then let her down

I let her come inside and we head to my room

She starts telling me all about her trip

"That's great baby" I say to her, happy to hear she had fun

"It was amazing, but I thought of you every day" she says looking deep into my eyes

I give her a little kiss

"And what was the food like?" I ask a still little concerned about the doubts I had about her eating

"It was delicious, you would have loved it there" she says

I stare at her for a minute just admire her cuteness

"Why are you staring at me?" She asks blushing

"I'm just thinking about how lucky I am to have you as my girlfriend" I say to her

"I'm the lucky one" she says

We begin to make out and after 1 hour we finally stop, both of us out of breath

"I love you so much Lili Reinhart" I say to her putting a loose strand of hair on the back of her ear

"I love you too baby" She says to me giving me a kiss on the cheek