Hate

Chapter 1

(Hey directioners! So this is my first fanfic, and I really hope you enjoy it. Please comment and stuff because it will really make my day. Also please spread the word to other directioners. Enjoy!!)

It's been another night, another sleepless night, and I cut again, I couldn't help it. I just love the way the blood drips from my pale skin.

I've been doing this almost every night ever since last year, in ninth grade, that terrible "popular girl" named Jennifer, treated me like shit. "You fat, ugly, bitch!" She would scream. She would trip me, shove me, and worst of all she took my friends away from me. And everyone still loves her, but I've learned to hate her, and she hates me.

And it slowly started affecting me, I hated myself, I hated what I looked like, I hated everything about myself. I became depressed, I would lay in bed all day, with the desire to do nothing. I lost my appetite, and even if I was a little hungry, I wouldn't eat, I would starve myself.

Now, I just want to die, the world would be better without me. I just feel so alone. As everyday passed I realize more and more how Jennifer was correct, I just can't let her know that, I can't let her know she has won the fight I have lost long ago.

I just want to be happy, I just want to change, but I can't no matter how hard I try. I just can't fit in with the other people, I feel so different from everyone else. I wish I knew someone who could understand me, but I can't talk about it to anyone else, they would just call me a suicidal freak. But I guess they would be right.

Eventually school will start though, in two days to be exact. I hate school, I have to socialize with other people and fake smiles all day so people won't think I'm a freak. And I hate homework, I don't get why teachers give so much homework out everyday. Don't they know that I have better things to do, like sit in a dark room all day.

I begin to cry, I am scared. Will I see Jennifer? Will she tease me and shove me? Of course she will because she is a bitch. She thinks she could do anything she wants just because she's pretty and her parents are rich. She is really pretty though, she has perfect, long blonde hair, flawless skin, blue eyes and a thin body. I am nothing compared her.

My two two ex best friends, Lauren and Rachel, and I used to be really close. We've known each other since kindergarten. Whenever I think about them I begin to feel upset because of damn Jennifer, who is now their best friend, Jennifer probably convinced Lauren and Rachel to hate me. She came up with some lie of something terrible that I've done.

I decide to go to sleep since it is already 3:30 in the morning. So I put on a long shirt and shorts, making sure they are both long enough to cover the fresh cut on my upper thigh.