Hate

Chapter 3

When I wake up after my mom pounding on the door. I go to the closet and put on the same jeans as yesterday and a black shirt. I go to brush my teeth, and do the same routine as yesterday.

"It's time!" my mom says.

I grab my bag and head to the car. Mr. Johnson (Music Teacher) told us to bring our instruments today, so I make sure to bring my clarinet also.

The whole car ride is silent as we listen to the radio. My mom turns it up to listen to some 80's song that I haven't heard before, and started to sing along. My mom isn't a good singer, but for some reason that doesn't stop her.

As we pull up to my school, I feel a little bit nervous, but I try to push it to the back of my mind. I get out of the car and run to Mr. Noble's class (Math) because I'm already running late. Luckily I make it in the room just as the late bell rings. I go to sit in the same seat as yesterday. Mr. Noble goes over the small amount of homework from yesterday.

I hear the bell ring and I go to Mrs. Smith's class and she tells us to write an essay about our summer. Oh you know, the usual: cuts, depression, self-hate. But I end up writing a fake story about me and my friends going to Disney World, you know, so people don't try to get me medical help.

After all the classes are over, then comes lunch, and I do the same thing as yesterday, go in the lunch line but don't actually eat. Only this time I actually make it inside the door.

Then I hear someone laugh and my heart stops. I fell in love with a laugh, is that even possible? I turn around to see who made the beautiful sound, it's a blonde guy and he is laughing with his friends. Wow, that laugh, it's gorgeous. Then I hear him talk, he has an accent, and it's lovely. I think it's an Irish accent, yes it is. It's beautiful, he's beautiful.

Then I realize that I'm standing in the middle of the cafeteria staring at him so I quickly walk away and throw away my food. Then I hear the bell ring, thank God.

Did he see me? What's his name? Will I see him again? So many questions but I want to know. I want to see him again.

I walk to PE, ugh PE I hate this, this is going to be terrible. I walk to the girls locker room and Mrs. Wylie assigns me a locker. I already have the PE uniform from last year. I feel embarrassed to change so I get it done as fast as possible. I look around at the people around me to get a quick glance at them and, damn all these people are skinny as shit! How do they do that!? Jesus Christ! If I weren't so shy I would ask them how they did that, but I can't, I'm too shy.

I go outside and Mrs. Wylie tells us to run 2 laps around the field. Fuck. I start to run. After one lap I feel dizzy, I fall on the floor.

"Clair? Are you ok?" It's that Irish voice, I can recognize that voice from anywhere. "Yes," I say and I open up my eyes to see his face.

I see Mrs. Wylie, "Oh good your awake, why don't you go to the nurse to make sure you are ok"

"Ok," I'll do anything to get out of PE anyways.

When I get there the nurse asks "what happened?"

"I fainted while running and Mrs. Wylie told me to come to the nurse."

"Ok, well I think you should eat some thing, did you eat lunch?" she asks.

"No," I confess.

"Eat something, it will help." Fuck.

"I'm really ok," I try to convince her, but it didn't work.

"At least eat a fruit," she says.

"Ok," I give in, I might as well or else Nancy (the nurse) will never let me leave. Besides one fruit won't hurt me a lot.

"Great!" she says while handing me an apple.

I take a bite of it and it tastes amazing. I hadn't had an apple in like forever, but I can't eat it. I throw it away after I leave.

I go to music class, Mr. Johnson talks almost the whole period so all we have time to do, is play a few scales.

I leave and go find my mom. I get inside the car.

"How was school?" my mom asks.

"Great! it was really good."

"Well your happy today," my mom says. She is right, why am I so happy today. It's because of that boy. The boy in the cafeteria.

"Yep," I say.

When we get home I go to my room and process everything. It's that boy, I like him, I have a crush on him. I've never had a crush, the feeling makes me feel nervous for some reason.

I want to see him tomorrow, I want to hear him laugh again, his laugh is so adorable and I'm in love with it. I'm in love with him.

I need to find out his name.

I try to do my homework but I can't stop thinking about the boy. Somehow I manage to finish, by that time I'm really tired, and I climb into bed, but I can't sleep. I'm too busy thinking about him.