I Walked In On Laura's Brother

Life And 42

Never-mind I found out I apparently have a life and that Matt likes wearing women's clothes. Not that the second fact was surprise a to anyone except Matt himself, poor thing. (kidding I love him, he's awesome but not always the most sensible, more like daft)

"Stella stop touching me, it's annoying." Matt sighed.

I mentally high-fived myself (ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED, my only real goal today was to annoy Matt so yay me).

"Who wants a burger?"

"Who doesn't want a burger?!" I scoffed, what is wrong with these people.

My mistake, maybe I'm the only expert in food around here, it's called 'eat it or lose it to me'.

"Dude I thought you were on a diet?" Laura smacked Matt's shoulder.

"Yeah, I am." Matt said through mouth fills of burger. " I'm on a see-food diet. I see food, and I eat it."

"Wow and I thought your comebacks couldn't get any worse."

Until now, I've always loved barbecues.  And what's ruined it for me???  Seeing Matt Smith chock up a half-chewed burger and spitting it onto my plate, and onto my crisps.  That right there, ruining my crisps, is an unforgivable act so in my new-found rage I poured the table salt over his head (too bad he wasn't a demon because then he'd get a massive burn, literally).

I'm so funny, right?

Apparently not because immediately Luara starting yelling at me about how I could make her brother blind, now she has to buy more salt and salt's expensive (don't know what kind of salt she buys), ec cetera.  I kind of stopped listening at that point and started playing Candy Crush on my phone but I didn't think she noticed.

"Remind me to never piss you off again, Stella." Matt chuckled, holding a bag of ice over his eye.  I forgot to mention that most of it might've gone directly into his eye and he started screaming 'it burns' while flailing around.  (I was still playing Candy Crush so like I said, my attention wasn't to focused)

"You practically threw up on my crisps." I deadpanned.

"You know the bag was right there, you could've just reached over and grabbed them." Matt explained, now thinking I was insane.

"Rule NUMBER ONE, never eat any food that has been touched be or been in the range of fifty feet of Alex Turner, he has some pretty strange diseases." Truthfully, that's kind of an excuse but a while ago Alex and I had some bet and he might've spit in my food so now I'm pretty careful when it comes to eating around him. "Wait, is Ben okay?" I shot a glance over at Ben who had narrowly escaped Matt at the store, unfortunately for me I hadn't and that meant I had to spend the next three hours helping Matt shelve and document bras.  Fun.

"Yeah, he's fine?" Matt seemed to be questioning that himself as Ben was panting from playing a pretty intense game of hop-scotch with Miles, Tom, and Alex.  (I think it's safe to say Ben's losing, bad)

Also another rule in life, never play any games that involve flex-ability with Tom, if he wasn't an actor I swear I'd sign him up for ballet.  Dang, he's flexible.

"Are you checking him out?" Matt asked incredulously.

"No, just thinking about how we should kidnap Tom, change his name and enter him into ballet." I mused, pretending to stroke my chin.

"Your strange." Matt chuckled, throwing a piece of ice at me.

"I know."

"It was a compliment."

"I know."

again HUGE MASSIVE thanks to @whovian03 because I haven't really felt like updating so her one-shot gave me a brilliant excuse to :)

dedicated to @Whovian_Grimmster cause I love your comments and your profile picture is phenomenal

how bout that GIF? 

remind me to never go into a guitar store again, I went in for an amp and I got another guitar which is like yay, now I get to hide in my room for the next week and learn R U Mine?  because I finally got Do I Wanna Know haha I'm sorry to anyone who doesnt know the Arctic Monkeys