I will always love you {waud twins story}

Part 38

-y/n's POV still-

Jason: you know... it felt like torture to be away from you. I would cry myself to sleep every night.
Y/n: I'm sorry... but I got really hurt about what happened at the dance.
Jason: I'm so sorry but it wasn't my fault. I felt like shit for that even though I swear I didn't do anything wrong.
Y/n: it's ok now I guess. But I'm sorry I didn't listen to you, I did overreact a bit because if a relationship is going to work then we need to talk and work things out.
Jason: right.

We stopped talking for a minute and the guilt from what I did earlier was killing me after what I just said.

Y/n: Jason...
Jason: yeah?
Y/n: how upset would you be if me and Joe kissed?
Jason: umm... I don't know, I mean he's my brother so I don't know why he would kiss my girlfriend.
Y/n: what if it wasn't his fault and it was mine?
Jason: are you saying that you kissed Joe?
Y/n: I-
Jason: you did didn't you? Why would you do that. You said that you loved me, you seriously just got back together with me and you kissed my brother when I'm gone.
Y/n: look, I know it was wrong but you don't know why I did it.
Jason: what reason would make it acceptable for my girlfriend to kiss my brother!?
Y/n: I hurt him really bad, when we were split up and I was hanging out with him, it was like we were almost dating and when I suddenly got back together with you I hurt him really bad. I didn't know what other way to apologize to him at that point because I had already tried all other ways to apologize. I messed up big time but I didn't want to keep secrets from you. We need to talk and make things work and you needed to know because what's worse? Me keeping secrets from you and lying or me telling the truth and this happening. I already feel like shit for it.
Jason: did he kiss back?
Y/n: yes
Jason: so it is his fault too.
Y/n: if you want to put it that way but please don't be mad at Joe and please forgive me.
Jason: I think you need time to figure out what you want. It can't be like this where I don't know if you really want me or if you would rather be with Joe.
Y/n: so are we breaking up again?
Jason: I think it is what you need.
Y/n: ok.... but promise me this...
Jason: what is it?
Y/n: even while we are not together, this time, I don't want us to act like strangers, I will still want us to be best friends, and whoever I choose, we all need to stay best friends because I can't lose either of you.
Jason: ok... and just know that I love you. I always have and I always will.
Y/n: of course. And I love you too. I'm going to go on a walk and hopefully have figured out who I want to be with. If I'm not back by 7 then message me and if I don't answer then something might have happened to me. But while I'm out, tell Joe what's going on.
Jason: ok.... but please don't talk about something happening to you because I don't want to think of something bad happening to you because I would blame myself for putting you in this situation because I am the reason you aren't staying in the room with me because of everything that has happened since that stupid dance.
Y/n: don't blame yourself because it's my choice to leave the house but I'm sure. I will be back without something happening to me. I'll be at the park down the street so you should know where to look for me in case something does happen though.
Jason: ok.... be safe.
Y/n: I will.

We gave each other one more hug and then I left to go on my walk.