Color - Plance AU

f i v e

I stumbled down the stairs. My legs felt weak, and I wasn't surprised. I couldn't remember the last time I had eaten anything more than a cracker or some apple slices. I reached the last step and my legs gave out, deciding that me going to school for the first time in three weeks was no longer important. 

I crashed into a heap at the bottom of the stairs. Usually Matt would appear from seemingly nowhere and laugh at me before helping me up. But of course, he wasn't here to do that. I pulled myself to my feet, ignoring the protests from my aching limbs. The world spun, but it was becoming a familiar feeling that I was able to ignore. 

I didn't bother going into the kitchen. I didn't feel like eating, plus my mother hadn't cooked anything since...that day. 

Instead I passed the doorway that lead to the kitchen and paused at the one that showed part of the living room. 

My mother sat on the couch, her hair loose and tangled. She was staring at the television, but it wasn't on. 

"I...I'm going to school, Mom," I said quietly. 

She didn't respond. I knew she was capable of moving, of speaking. I could hear her, late at night, moving around downstairs, talking to herself. I could never make out words, but the tone suggested that she was angry. I didn't blame her. 

After a few moments, I nodded and passed by the arch, grabbing a pen and my laptop before heading outside. 

I was on time for the bus, so I was quiet and oddly calm when I stepped on. The bus driver took my money, gave me my change and flashed a smile that I didn't return. 

The other kids seemed to quieten when they saw me. They looked at me, studying my face, my posture, my behaviour. I was unsure on how to act all of a sudden, so I ignored them and made my way down the aisle. 

Undoubtedly they had heard, and they probably didn't know what to do. I passed whispering students and sat in an empty seat. I peered blankly out of the window throughout the short journey to school. 

If I thought the looks on the bus were awkward, it was nothing compared to what I faced when I entered the halls. I walked past a group of gaggling girls and bristled at the comments I overheard. 

"Oh my gosh, it's that girl who's family died." 

"What did she do to her hair? It awful." 

"I wonder if she tried to die too?" 

I bit my tongue hard on the last one, so hard the metallic taste of blood filled my mouth. The truth was, every night I held a blade to my skin, daring myself to do it, to end it all. But I was a coward. Eventually I would get so tired I would fall asleep on the bathroom floor and wake up a few hours later, putting away the blade and dragging myself to bed. 

I swallowed and walked on. Katie Holt would have confronted the girls. Pidge didn't feel the need to. It was only when I turned a corner when things started to go really wrong. 

I almost crashed straight into a person, but I dodged at the last second, and ended up hitting someone else. I backed away, apologising, then backed into another person and spun, and then my body gave up again. 

My legs collapsed, my vision darkening and the last thing I saw was someone darting towards me, arms oustretched, ready to catch me. 

A pounding headache woke me. I groaned and tried to sit up, but my body felt so heavy. I hissed our a breath and tried again, managing to sit up and shuffle my back up against something. 

I blearily opened an eye, but shut it again when a harsh light pierced my vision, making my headache jab and prod at me. 

I could feel soft linen sheets underneath me, and the familiar smell of watermelons and technology wafted around me. 

I opened my eye again and found the light more manageable. I opened the other and was vaguely surprised to see myself in my own room. It looked the same. The sun was low in the sky, my clothes were scattered around and there was a boy in my desk chair- 

Wait, what?! 

I shrieked and scrambled backwards, hitting my head on a low shelf above my bed and grunting in pain. 

The boy jerked upright. "Wha-who's screaming? What-" he saw me and relaxed. "Oh, yeah. Sorry." 

I was frozen to the spot. My knees were hugged to my chest and I was staring, wide-eyed, at Lance McClain. He awkwardly scratched the back of his neck. 

"Uh, hi?" 

I stared. 

"You, uh...you kind of collapsed at school?" 

I stared. 

"The school sent you home, and I thought I should stay? Just in case..." 

I stared. 

Lance chuckled. "Staring is your forte? Good to know." 

I blinked, and snapped out of it. "S-sorry. I mean...why are you in my room? How long was I out? W-why are you here?" I didn't mean for the last question so come out so accusatory. 

Lance shrugged. "I was just looking out for you. The nurse said you collapsed because of lack of energy? Have you been sleeping properly?" 

I looked away. That wasn't the reason I fainted. 

"Hey," Lance leaned forwards. "Are you okay?" 

I scowled, untangling myself from the blankets and sitting upright. But god, it was hard. "I...ah, I'm fine. You can go."

 Lance hesitated. "Alright. Just wanted to check that you were okay. You didn't look so good." 

"Yeah." Katie would have made some snappy remark. Pidge didn't bother. He got up, brushing himself off. "I'm gonna go, then." 

I nodded, and watched as he walked to the door. He pulled it open, then turned to look back at me. "Get better soon, Katie." 

"It's Pidge," I said sharply. 

He raised an eyebrow. "Okay, Pidge." He took a step forward, then stopped and turned again. "And thanks for the colour. It's beautiful. Almost as beautiful as you." 

I blushed a furious red, but he had already exited the room and shut the door behind him.