Falling for the impossible (Harry Styles Fanfiction)

Chapter 20

After I quickly cleaned the knife and put it back and cleaned up some of the blood that had dripped from my wrist and I walked into the living room. I laid down on my stomach and put my head in my hands.

I had found a cure. A cure for the pain I had felt, well at least a temporary cure, it was as if the high only lasted a couple minutes after I stopped and soon, I was back to the regular feelings I was used to.

I wanted to do it again, wanted to feel numb. When I had seen girls with scars along their arms I had always wished they hadn't done it, I felt horrible. But now I understood why the did.

"Good morning" Jason said walking into the living room and sitting down next to me already slouching, he was obviously still tired. I smiled up at him bringing the sleeve of the sweatshirt down farther feeling like he could see through it and see the cut.

"Nice clothes" He teased me laughing. I laughed and rolled my eyes.

"Well, I could only wear those er...clothes for so long" I said putting quotations around clothes remembering how little I wore. He threw his head back and laughed remembering the hideous sight that had been me. I playfully hit his arm and he smiled down at me. 

"I made pancakes" I told him pointing up to see counter at the giant stack of chocolate chip goodness. 

"Did you eat already?" He asked me as he got up and made himself a plate. I shook my head.

"Not hungry" I said looking at my hands bored. He nodded and sat down at a little table against the wall.

"What do you want to do today?" He asked me. I shrugged. 

"I think I'm going to go for a walk" I said getting up and grabbing some clothed out of my suit case and went to change in the bathroom. I walked in and heard Jason call out to me.

"By yourself?" He asked as I pulled off his clothes and slipped on mine. I walked out and looked at him.

"Yup" I grabbed my phone and purse off the counter and waved goodbye as I headed out the door not bothering to wait and hear Jason's warnings about not talking to strangers, he was so responsible and careful just like Liam.

Dammit. I thought of them.

I can't so that, I thought to myself as I walked down the narrow side walk along the strip of shops. I looked in the windows trying to distract myself when I saw a sign that before, never would have caught my attention but now it did. It was a store that had razors, Six for  four dollars. I wanted them badly. I needed them.

I quickly rushed into the store and looked around nervous that someone would wonder why I was buying razors. I walked down the isle to look for them until I remembered you had to get them from behind the counter. I sighed on edge and walked up to the register and smiled awkwardly at the lady working there. She smiled weakly back and taped her nails waiting for me to say something.

"Six razors please" I said taking my wallet out. She nodded and unlocked the door behind me and took out six of the brand new razors I couldn't wait to get my hands on. She bagged them and took the money and I quickly walked out of the store and shoved the bag deep in my purse.

I decided to keep walking along the sidewalk. I glanced at the shops as I walked by and stopped at starbucks and ordered a coffee. I sat down at a tiny table by the window and saw the door open and I instantly regretted coming here.

Harry Styles walked through the door and stopped in mid step when he saw me. I ducked my head down but knew it was useless when I heard the chair next to me give a little screech as he pulled it back. 

"What?" I snapped looking up at him. He looked tired. He had bags under his eyes as if he had gotten no sleep at  all and his body was low in the chair as if he wasn't able to sit himself up.

"We need to talk" He said. I couldn't take my eyes away from him no matter how hard I tried. Even though he was tired and lazy, he still looked gorgeous. Like always.

"No we don't" I argued. Still looking into those pale green eyes.

"I have to go" I said getting up and picking up my coffee and purse headed towards the door. Harry was about to say something when he reached out for me but I left before he had the chance. 

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If you like this story check out my other story 'The Boys who never existed' !(:

-Courtney XX