Through The Dark (Niall Horan Fanfic)

Chapter 21

Aubree's POV

Two bottles of pills were arranged on Niall's countertop in the morning. He had woken up before me and told me not to sleep in too late. I guess he had set them out for me. He was in the bathroom as my fingertips moved to the top of the lid of one bottle, removing it.

I took two identical white pills out, each the size of my thumb nail.

I got out a glass from the cupboard and filled it with water, taking my antidepressants.

Niall came into the kitchen just as I had put the pills back and gotten rid of my glass of water.

"Good morning."

I tried to move past him, so I could go to the bathroom and freshen up, change my clothes, but his arm stuck out and trapped me.

"Good morning," I replied.

He spun me into him, hugging me from behind as I giggled. Niall kissed my head and then freed me.

When Niall dropped me off at work, before he let go of my hand, a question slipped out, "Did you take your pills?"

I kept my head turned to the window. I spoke sternly, embarrassed. "Yes."

"Hey," his thumb rubbed my skin, "I love you."

My heart lifted.

I turned my head to him and kissed him before slipping my hand out of his and opening the door of the car, "I love you."

I knew the pills took some time to kick in, as in a few weeks, so I knew it wasn't the medicine holding a smile on my face as I walked into the book store. Maybe it was Niall. Maybe it was just one of my bipolar happy days.

I genuinely smiled the whole day at my costumers, not the usual fake smile I put on. I always smiled at my costumers or anyone I saw throughout the day; I just tried to be a nice person. I wasn't a nice person, but I tried to be.

I had a few real laughs throughout the day as well.

But this was the kind of happiness that scared me: the 'happy for no reason' happiness.

Because it was the kind of mood that was too good to be true, and could shatter at any moment, sending me into an even deeper state of depression than I was the last time.

And there was no reason to be happy after it, because I didn't even have a reason to be happy when I was 'happy' for a short period of time.

It was a giant cycle I went through.

But I tried to ignore that all and enjoy my mood.

That day, Cassie picked me up instead of Niall or even Marlene: it was a Monday night poker night with my friends.

'Friends' meaning Marlene and Cassie and whoever they were friends with at the moment.

I hopped into her car, grinning.

"Hey, there," Cass smiled at me, obviously shocked at my mood.

"Hi."

"How was work?"

"Good. How've you been?"

"I've been fine," Cass emphasized the 'I', "How have you been?"

I blanked. "Good."

How had I been?

I didn't even know. I was kind of all over the place. Niall made me unexplainably happy, but then I'd be drowning in my thoughts the next and there was no helping me. Or, Niall would simply touch my hand and I'd light up like the sun again.