Through The Dark (Niall Horan Fanfic)

Chapter 32

Aubree's POV

I wiped the embarassed tears out of the corner of my eyes before the spilled over. Was I being stupid?
Niall opened his door and immediately leaned over the console, one hand on my shoulder, one hand on my cheek, his thumb rubbing back and forth.
He kissed the side of my face, "Don't cry, Aubree."
I looked up, blinking the wetness away, and sniffled, "Sorry."
"Talk to me."
"That was so embarrassing."
"Your dad?"
"Who asks that? Who just keeps asking questions about the future of someone's relationship? God," I took a breath, "you probably felt so uncomfortable."
"Don't worry about me. And what I said was true. We're serious. We'll still be together by the time you go to Uni, right?"
I nodded.
"I thought your mum liked me. Do you think she changed her mind or something?"
"No, I just, I don't know. I think she's scared I'll get hurt or something because of like the whole famous thing. I don't know, it's just what she thinks, she always mentions it, but I don't think that."
"Oh." Niall removed his hand from my cheek, biting his thumb nail, "That won't get in the way of us, right?"
"I mean, I hope not."
Niall nodded, moving back into his seat. "Me too."
"I love you."
"We won't let that happen, Aubs. I love you."
"What about college?" I asked as he started up the car.
"What about it?"
"Well I'll stay at a dorm in Uni, and... you'll be on tour most of the time.... I don't know."
Niall drew in a deep breath, letting it out and fogging up the window next to him as he drove out of the driveway. "Let's just worry about that later, okay, princess?"
"Okay."
I couldn't sleep that night. Not only did the reminder from my family of the future instability of my relationship was being compressed onto my shoulders, but going to Uni would be like starting grade school all over again, right? New people, new classes, new... everything.
I wasn't ready.
I turned onto my side away from Niall, who was sound asleep. He always made me fall asleep before him, so I faked it right away that night, knowing I'd be up for hours. He fell asleep right after I had "fallen asleep".
I turned on my back. I pulled my jumper hood up around my face, my ears getting cold. I moved my feet around, trying to get the blankets perfect.
I couldn't get comfortable.
And I couldn't sleep.
And I couldn't stop thinking about Niall and I.
And I couldn't stop thinking about all of the anxieties of going away for college.
I turned onto my stomach, and then my feet starting moving again, annoyed by the blankets twisting around me.
"Aubs," Niall mumbled. "Come here."
I unhesitantly rolled over into his open arms. "Sorry."
"Just go to sleep, okay? It'll be better in the morning, I promise."
I closed my eyes, holding onto Niall's arms that were wrapped around my stomach.
I wiped my hair out of my face.
I tried to wipe the nervous thoughts from my mind.
I kicked my feet at the sheets.
"Aubs," Niall groaned, holding me closer to him. "Stay still."
He tried to not sound it, but his annoyance was prominent.
"I'm sorry." I leaned against him.
He nuzzled his head against mine. "It's okay," he kissed my temple, "I love you. Good night."
"Good night."

Niall's POV

"Love," I opened our bedroom door to see Aubs in the center of a nest of our blankets, scribbling away in her notebook, eager. "You've been in bed all day. You feeling okay?"
She looked up at me quickly, her first instinct to shut the notebook closed, pulling it close in her lap, not seeming to hear what I had said as she nodded mindlessly, eyes open and blank.
I gave her a confused look, entering the room and crawling onto the bed, plopping down in front of her. "Hi."
"Hey." She smiled forcefully.
I put my hands on her knees, leaning into her personal space. "Whatcha up to?"
She shrugged, shaking her head, expression still plain, "Nothing."
"You haven't had breakfast. It's almost noon." I stated.
"I don't want breakfast." She countered.
I frowned at Aubree. "Why not?"
Another shrug, another head shake.
"You don't want a nicely toasted croissant, with the perfect amount of butter melted into it? Maybe some bacon on the side? Oh, and some coffee with the exact dash of cream to make it really good?"
Her stomach growled.
One point for Niall.
I chuckled, her face breaking into a small, but real smile. I took the notebook from her clutch and took her hands, wrapping them around my neck and then mine around her waist, lifting her off the bed with me as her legs wrapped around me. I carried her like that out to the hall, both of us giggly. I planted her on the counter, her socked-feet kicking the air and then the cabinets beneath her repetitively as she waited for her breakfast that I was making for her.
As I waited for the bread to heat up, I handed Aubree her pill bottle and a small glass of water.
She took her pills without hesitation.
I handed her a mug of coffee after taking a sip and smiling at her. She held it close to her, both palms spread onto the warm surface. She looked down into the creamy brown liquid.
I stood in front of her, between her knees. Remembering something, I perked up, "Oh, Harry asked us to go out with him and Cass for dinner tonight. I told him I'd ask you. You want to go?"
She nodded almost unnoticably and, looking down at her coffee still, croaked, "Sure."
My eyebrows scrunched for a second, looking at her, concern growing in my stomach like a fast-spreading disease. I nudged her cheek with my nose, kissed her neck. "Aubs."
"Ni." She rubbed the side of her face on mine.
I removed the coffee from her grip, my hands on her thin waist, standing against the counter and pulling her closer to me.
"Princess," I dragged out the word, wanting her to open up to me.
She hugged my neck, her head against mine. "I don't want to eat dinner."
"Aubree," my face fell.
Her heart beat was speeding up, I could feel it even through the thick fabrics of our shirts.
"Sorry," she mumbled onto the soft skin of my neck.
I rubbed her back, upset that she was feeling bad ways again, but glad that she was openly talking to me and telling me these things straight up instead of ignoring them and letting it get worse until she couldn't take it anymore. I swallowed hard, took a large gulp of air.
It was so hard to make Aubree feel better. She was a pessimist, definitely, and she saw the worst out of everything people said. Even if someone complimented her, her mind would twist it and mend it to make it seem like they were critiquing her, making fun of her, or pointing out her flaws. I always had to choose my words wisely, like parents always said to their kids: 'Think before you speak.'
I cuddled into her more, still thinking before I opened my mouth.
The toaster dinged, signally her breakfast was ready, but I stayed clinging onto my girl.
"I love you, Aubs. I want you to be healthy. I'm not gonna force food into your mouth and glue my eyes on you every second of everyday to make sure you're not... you're okay. I want you to do that on your own. But I'm here for you, princess. I want you to be happy and healthy for the rest of your life. But that's on you babe, I can't make it happen no matter how hard I try. It's your decision." I backed out of our embrace, trying to find her eyes with mine, but she refused to make eye contact. "I love you."
And then I did one of the things that made her smile the most. I leaned back in and kissed her cheek and her forehead and her nose and her mouth and her chin and her neck and her collarbone, pushing back the fabric of her t-shirt to kiss her shoulder. I whispered "I love you" over and over as I continued to kiss her all over the place until she erupted in a smile and giggles.