The Truth About After & 50SOG

Mental Abuse Is For Real.

A/N: This is my last brief lesson on Domestic Violence before I unveil the scary truth of After and 50SOG little by little in the nicest way possible.

Mental Abuse Is For Real. 

Alot of people say there is no such thing as emotional abuse, and firmly believe that physical abuse is the only kind of real abuse. Those people are wrong. Mental abuse is just like physical abuse but with words. The words a mentally abusive man inflicts on a girl can hurt just as much as a punch in the face. Sometimes even more. For years now people have been well educated on physical abuse through lectures, social media, movies, books, etc. Most of these things focus on physical abuse because it's easy to define, and feel sympathy for the person.

But has anyone put aside the time to discuss mental abuse? Do you even know how to define it? Describe it? Recognize it? Stop it? I'm willing to bet you answered no to at least one of those questions, and if you didn't your either fooling yourself or really know your stuff.

Lets start with defining it. Now defining something bad that isn't physical is a difficult task to do unless your well educated in the area of it. It's easy to point out physical abuse, because it's something you can see.

So how do you pin point mental abuse when you can't see it?

You open your ears, and listen.

Physical abuse is determined by sight, and the pain it inflicts on the body of the victim. Mental abuse is determined by listening, and feeling the pain from it in your mind. Your mind is the victim, your mind is what's getting abused.

Lets say your best friend has a boyfriend, and she seems happy with him but one day she tells you otherwise.

She tells you he's abusive, but you don't believe her because he never hits her. That's because he's beating her mind with his words. He has unreasonable expectations that get higher everytime. He threatens her in suttle or obvious ways to inflict fear so she'll stay anchored to him. He'll be verbally aggressive with her such as calling her names, blaming her, and commanding. Be warned he can do this in a seemingly playful way, but his lighthearted words are his true his colors. He puts her into a perpetual state of uncertainty, she doesn't know how to react or please him, because he's always changing.

A more simple term for this would be Emotional Choas.

He deny's her physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. He dominates her, which is one of the most dangerous things to search for in a guy.

There's many more examples of things I could give, but I don't want this chapter to be any longer then necessary so I'll jump to the next point.

How do you describe it?

When someone mentally abuses you it's like having cancer, it slowly kills you, and rarely goes away.

And if it does go away it will always haunt you.

Mental abuse damages everything good about you, it sucks the joy out of life, and makes you forget security. It makes you doubt your image, doubt yourself, doubt your friends, and basically doubt everything. It makes you afraid of the guy because he plants ideas in your head that turn into possible senerio's if you try to leave him. It can be confusing because one moment he'll be treating you like a pile of feces then like a princess the next.

When he does that he warps your perception of the reality of your situation. You tend to overlook the bad in him, and convince yourself he's good no matter what he does.

That brings me to my next point, how do you stop it?

Simple.

You leave him, and go find something better. If you need to reach out for help, then do it, there is plenty of people who will care enough to help you if you!

Finally lets take a brief glance at how it compares to physical abuse.

Both are dreadful things that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. No one deserves either or, and anyone who has survived that kind of experience your my hero. Your my hero. I mean it.

And finally to conclude my last lesson I'd like to make a point that I believe has some logic behind it.

In many ways I believe mental abuse is worse then physical abuse, and I'll tell you why. The evidence of physical abuse eventually fades, the trauma of it sticks close but eventually you can escape, and live happily.

But when your in a mentally abusive relationship the scars never fade.

Their always haunting you, whispering in your ear, making you doubt yourself, and gripping you in never ending misery. You can recover from a punch in the face, but can you fully recover from someone damaging the way you view yourself?

As I once said to my mom, "I rather get smacked in the face then called ugly, and fat."

A/N: That concludes my lessons on abuse. Meaning tomorrow we'll be moving onto the topic of interest.

B. Winters