The Truth About After & 50SOG

50SOG - Abuse (part 2)

26. Using threats to keep Ana under his control.  

Remember how Ana JUST told Christian that she felt abused when Christian spanked her?  And remember how he essentially told her to deal with it, rather than providing any after-care like a decent Dom would?  Well Ana promises to try to deal with it and assures him that if she wanted out of their relationship, she'd have run to Alaska by now.  Christian replies:  "For the record, you stood beside me, knowing what I was going to do.  You didn't at any time ask me to stop - you didn't use either safe word.  You are an adult - you have choices.  Quite frankly, I'm looking forward to the next time my palm is ringing with pain.  You're obviously not listening to the right part of your body.  Alaska is very cold and no place to run.  I would find you.  I can track your cell phone - remember?"  Shall we translate that, from "ridiculous, meant to be hot-speak" to "real-life meaning?"  What he's essentially saying here is: "You didn't stop the scene, meaning I can take no responsibility for your feelings.  You have choices - when I allow you to.  I don't care that you've told me you feel abused, because I can't wait to hit you again, regardless of whether you want me to.  I think it's sexy and so you should too and if you don't, it's because I know your own body better than you do.  I will stalk you wherever you go, because I have the technology to do so."  See how, when you translate it from EL James' romanticised version to what he's actually meaning, the abuse is so much clearer to see?  Christian isn't a good Dom.  Christian isn't even a good human.

27.  Constantly expecting Ana to be at his beck and call.  

Whilst Ana is going about her life, sans Christian, she suddenly remembers that she promised to call him and has completely forgotten.  When she goes to her phone, she finds a voicemail message, in which Christian insists "you need to learn to manage my expectations.  I am not a patient man."  Not "hey babe, I'm a bit worried that you've not called; are you okay?"  Oh no.  Christian is only angry because she's not making him her number one priority at all times.  Ana thinks to herself: "Will he ever give me a break?  ...He is suffocating me."  Yes he is.  And guess what, Fifty Shades fans?  It's abuse.

28.  Another reference to wanting to actually hurt her...  

In chapter 18, Christian and Ana are discussing his desire to spank her again.  When Ana asks if he's going to hit her, he replies: "Yes, but it won't be to hurt you.  I don't want to punish you right now.  If you'd caught me yesterday evening, well that would have been a different story..."  So, basically, had he seen her the previous night, when she forgot to call him, he'd have hit her in order to actually hurt her, rather than as a part of a sexy, consensual BDSM scene.  That's called physical abuse, guys.  And it's so far away from being sexy, I don't even know what to say to you anymore.

29.  Attempting to control her life - yep, he's still doing it.  

Ana and Christian go to meet his parents, shortly after he confesses that he'd have liked to have actually hurt her, had he seen her after she committed the heinous crime of forgetting to call him.  Whilst there, Ana announces that she's thinking of going to visit her mother.  Christian suggests that she ought to remember their "arrangement," but when Ana reminds him that she has never signed a contract, agreeing to be a 24/7 submissive to him, he reacts by yet again grabbing her by the elbow and telling her "this conversation is not over."  And to add insult to injury, he's described as whispering that sentence "threateningly."  Newsflash, Christian:  It's her decision whether she sees her mother.  You have no control over whether she goes to visit her relatives or not.  You are a total psychopath and it's about as sexy as pubic lice.  A little later, during dinner with Christian's parents, Ana's friend Kate asks Ana how Jose was when she went out for a drink with him.  Ana hasn't told Christian that she went out with Jose, because keeping secrets from your partner because you're scared of how they'll react is SUPER HEALTHY and Christian reacts to this news by whispering in a "quiet and deadly" tone that he is "palm-twitchingly mad."  Plain speak?  He wants to hit her in order to hurt her.  Because she saw a male friend.  THIS MAN IS NOT A ROMANTIC HERO, HE IS A DISGUSTING, ABUSIVE BULLY.  WHY, WHY, WHY FOR THE LOVE OF MATT SMITH ARE PEOPLE FAWNING OVER THIS DICKHEAD?????!!!!  Aaaand breathe.