The Truth About After & 50SOG

The Dictionary Of Domestic Violence.

A/N: I would like to start off my evaluation of the After and 50SOG trilogy by giving you a brief education about abuse. Please read each of these educational chapters with an open mind, and actively try to compare the definition's to an event. Not in just After and 50SOG but in your life; another novel you've read, or movie you've watched. 

The Dictionary Of Domestic Violence

Physical Abuse 

Short Definition: Physical Abuse is an act of another party involving contact intended to cause feelings of physical pain, injury, or other physical suffering or bodily harm. 

 Link: en.m.wikipedia.org/Physical_abuse

In Depth Definition: Standing over you, getting "in your face", blocking a doorway, grabbing you if you try to leave, kicking, punching, biting, slapping, choking, threatening to harm you, using weapon's, throwing things, breaking things, punching walls or door's, driving recklessly, burning, cutting, pulling hair, stabbing, strangling, trying or confining you, preventing you from seeking medical care, murder. 

Link: http://www.projectpave.org/6-types-abuse

Emotional Abuse

Short Definition: Emotional abuse is any kind of abuse that is emotional rather then physical in nature. It can include anything from verbal abuse and constant criticism to more subtle tactics such as intimidation, manipulation, and refusal to ever be pleased. 

Link: http://www.counselingcenter.illinois.edu/self-help-brochures/relationship-problems/emotional-abuse/

In Depth Definition: Insults, put downs, intimidating you, embarrassing you in public, talking down to you, not listening to or respecting your feelings, making threats, telling you you're not "GLBTQ", "man", or "strong" enough, being jealous, possessive, controlling; excessive or threatening texts, wanting access to your messages, email, FaceBook/MySpace, spying, checking up on you, accusations of cheating, making you feel like you need to justify yourself, giving you no privacy, shaming you for your sexual orientation.

Link: http://www.projectpave.org/6-types-abuse

Verbal Abuse

Short Definition: We can define verbal abuse as words that attack or injure an indiviual, words that cause one to believe an untrue statement, or words that speak falsely of an indiviual. Verbal abuse constitutes psychological violence. Verbal abuse is damaging to the spirit it takes the joy and vitality out of life.

Link: http://www.godswordtowomen.org/verbal_grady.htm

In Depth Definition: Yelling, shouting, swearing, continuously arguing, interrupting, talking over you, put downs, using loud and threatening language and tone to cause fear, name calling, intimidating you, mocking you, abusive language. 

Link: http://www.projectpave.org/6-types-abuse

Economic Abuse

Short Definition: Economic abuse is a form of abuse when one intimate partner has control over the other partner's access to economic resources, which diminishes the victim's capacity to support him/herself and forces him/her to defend on the perpetrator finacially.

Link: en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Economic_abuse

In Depth Definition: Withholding money, opening up a joint account but you don't have access, forcing you to leave your job, forcing you to get fired, shaming you for how you spend your money, not allowing you to work or get an education, putting all the bills/credit cards in your name, preventing you from using your car.

Link: http://www.projectpave.org/6-types-abuse

Mental Abuse

Short Definition: Psychological abuse, also referred to as emotional or mental abuse, is a form of abuse characterized by a person subjecting or exposing another to behavior that may result in psychological trauma, including anxiety, chronic depression, or post-traumatic stress disorer.

Link: en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_abuse

In Depth Definition: Playing mind games with you, twisting everything around so nothing is their fault and all of their behavior was caused by something you did or didn't do, accusing you of doing things that they are doing, lying, manipulating you for control or sex, threatening to "out" you to your parents, friends, classmates, distorting reality so you think you are loosing your mind.

Link: http://www.projectpave.org/6-types-abuse

Sexual Abuse

Short Definition: A statutory offense that provides that is a crime to knowingly cause another person to engage in an unwanted sexual act by force or threat; "most states have replaced the common law definition of rape with statues defining sexual assualt"

Link: http://wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn?s=sexual%20abuse

In Depth Definition: Rape, unwanted sexual touching, vulgar comments, pressure for sex, forcing you to have unprotected sex, forcing you to get pregnant or to have an abortion, sexting, forcing you to have sex with other people or to watch your partner have sex with someone else, forcing you to use or participate in pornography. 

Link: http://www.projectpave.org/6-types-abuse

Side Effects Of Domestic Abuse:

PTSD: Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a mental condition that is triggered by a terrifying event. Some common symptoms associated with PTSD are flashbacks, nightmares, severe anxiety, and uncontrollable thoughts about the event. Many people who go through traumatic events have difficulty adjusting and coping for a while. But with time and support, such traumatic reactions usually get better.

Depression: Depression is more than common feelings of temporary sadness. Symptoms can include prolonged sadness, feelings of hopelessness, unexplained crying, changes in appetite with significant weight loss or gain, loss of energy or loss or loss of interest and pleasure in activities previously enjoyed. Depression can effect a person's outlook, which can lead them to feelings of hopelessness. This, in turn, can impact his or her thought process and ability to make decisions. In extreme cases of depression, people may even experience suicidal thoughts and/or attempts. 

Dissoclation: Dissoclation usually refers to feeling like one has ''checked out" or is not present. In some instances of dissociation, people may find themselves daydreaming. But in situations where dissoclation is chronic and more complex it may impair an indiviual's ability to function in the "real" world, such as not being able to focus on work related duties or being able to concentrate on schoolwork. 

Physical Evidence: 

-Bruises or that look they came from choking, punching or defending oneself

-Black eyes

-Red or purple marks at the neck

-Sprained or broken wrists

Long Term Physical Evidence: 

-Chronic fatigue 

-Shortness of breath

-Muscle tension

-Involuntary shaking

-Changes in eating and sleeping patterns

-Sexual dysfunction

-In women, issues with menstrual cycle or fertility

A/N: Does anything seem familiar to you here? I I hope. I also hope this helped you gain an understanding of one of the many topics I'm planning on addressing in this book. 

B. Winters