Let's Play A Love Game (A 1D Fan Fiction)

Chapter Sixteen (Amber)

An icy cold pins and needles feeling spread across my body and I could feel myself violently convulsing. WAIT! I could feel it? I could FEEL it! I was FEELING something! I was coming to! "Amber!" I distantly distinguished a voice call. It reminded me of the first time something like this ever happened.

I slopped the brown, meaty gravy onto a single slice of whole wheat bread and lifted the plate, politely smiling up at the recipient. Helping at The Soup Kitchen was rewarding but I wished I had more to offer the poor folks. They just stared with those sad eyes and ate with their sad mouths. I ladled more gravy onto another slice for the next person in line and when I routinely smiled up at the recipient, I stopped short. A dirty teenage girl with an unforgiving blonde bob stood before me in old clothes of mine. Her left arm rested protectively over her stomach, the pose I was most accustomed to seeing anymore. This was the reason I was here. "Cat- Lauren, where's Ja- Chase?" I saved choppily. Although no one around seemed to care or be paying attention to us at all, I had to start getting into the habit of using these novel names. "He's not here?" she inquired, her dark eyes showing me the fear in her heart. "No. Where--" I began to question. "Amber, this was my last hope," the blonde whispered solemnly, casting her solemn, sleep-deprived eyes downward. As I finally began to read the expression on her face, I became nervous. I glanced to my coworkers, "Can somebody cover me?" Before anyone responded, I led the girl to the back room. This had been our ritual for countless weeks. The only difference with this occasion was that the boy wasn't with her and the air seemed heavier. Almost like there wasn't enough. My lungs burned and I couldn't seem to gather a deep breath, "Where is he?" "Amber, he's... Gone," she broke down, unable to suppress her tears. "What do you mean 'gone'?" "He left me!" "He would never do that!" I argued in disbelief. "He did! I... I.. I lost the.. the," she began, crumpling to the floor. Her sobs had become so violent that she was unable to continue speaking. "NO!" I denied, knowing what she meant before she could finish the statement. "That's why he left," she mouthed silently. "How'd he find out?!" I questioned, unable to fully register the severity of our situation. "I told him that I - and he got upset because I never told him and he thought he could've saved it and it was his fault. He said it was his fault," she explained so quickly that I almost couldn't understand her. "Honey," I sympathized, doing the only thing I could: wrapping her crumpled body in a hug. She sobbed into my chest and I stroked her hair. "Did you check the tree-house?" I offered suddenly. "No," she admitted breathlessly. I could feel that we both got a glimmer of hope. "We have to go right now!" I burst, scrambling to my feet immediately. She laid there motionlessly and I forcefully yanked her to her feet, "Come on!" She sniffled at me and wiped her eyes, still crying. "Catie, it's okay," I assured calmly, not feeling so sure myself. "This is all my fault. You were always right about me," she broke down again. "I was not right about you! I was being stupid! My brother is lucky to have you. I was being selfish. I'd be grateful to call you my sister," I insisted heatedly, crouching down to meet her eyes as I struggled not to become another problem on her plate.

We arrived in the woods behind our old houses and followed the familiar, indistinguishable trail to the dilapidated wood of the tree-house and stopped short. "What do we do?" I inquired softly, speaking more to myself than to the girl with me. "I can't go in there," she heaved, turning away from the shelter quickly with a sniffle. "Are you sure?" I insisted, not exactly wanting to go in by myself either. What if my parents were there? Or worse! What if HER parents were in there? What if they found out? What if we got caught? We couldn't get caught! The girl stared at me solemnly with a sickness in her features before speaking in a hoarse, shaky voice, "I'm sure." I felt the way she looked but I had to be strong for her. And what if Jacob actually was in the tree-house, just waiting for us? I had to check. "I'll go then. Wait here," I finally muttered, spinning toward the shelter with a certain resistance and urgency that I can't quite explain.I came to the unstable ladder of the shelter and hesitated, glancing back at Catie for reassurance that I didn't receive. At the moment I had no explanation for what I felt but now I blame my hesitation on my reluctance to face reality and have my worst fears realized. With a sharp, calming inhale I gripped the ladder and began my ascent, all the while mentally encouraging myself. You can do this! Catie is right there, she won't let anything happen. Don't do it! Get down! Run away! No, there's only one more step! Just take a peek, it won't hurt anything! You'll always regret it if you don't. That last part is the one that got me. I hung onto the final stair at the top and waited before finally mustering the courage to lift myself inside. I poked my head back out of the bottom to check on Catie but she was hunched over the opposite way, facing the woods unstably. I stood up inside the room and examined my surroundings: no Jacob. Everything remained identical to how it had been previously. But one thing... Something was wrong. Something didn't belong. I couldn't put my finger on it but I felt uneasy ad something was undoubtedly different. After two more sweeps around the area I placed it: There was a bright piece of fresh paper prominently sitting on the crude, rotting wood table Jacob and I had built when we were younger. This was meant for me. I reached for the note with shaking hand, stopping halfway through and swiveling the opposite direction, ready to leave the place. You made it here, what's the harm? I faced the paper once again and extended my arm before I could back out. My fingers tightened around the crisp paper and I lifted it off the desk toward myself, flipping it over. My name was scribbled on the back side in sharp black ink, familiarly slanting the way Jacob's left handed script always had. This letter was meant for me. I stared at my name, imagining Jacob in this place, writing this letter to me as he put himself in true harm's way. With a sharp exhale- I had been holding my breath- I opened the folded paper, allowing my eyes to adjust to the writing. "I knew you'd get this letter because I knew Catie wouldn't come up here. She isn't as strong as you are when it comes to these things. Make sure she isn't watching you: She probably isn't and if she isn't, continue." I slid to the door of the tree-house and peered at Catie who remained in the same position she had been in earlier. Knowing she couldn't bring herself to turn her gaze upon the sentimental structure, I continued. "You know the reason I've left. You may not understand why but really, you don't need to. You shouldn't know, honestly. It isn't your fault and it isn't Catie's fault either. I planned on coming back until I realized that she's better without me. She's always worrying about me going to college and everything when she should have worried about herself and our... I didn't know, but you did. I'm not mad at you because I know you did everything you could. No, I'd like to thank you for that. Now I have a request. Keep Catie safe. Take care of her like I would. Make sure she fulfills her potential. She has so much potential! Please don't let it go to waste. Make sure she knows how much I love her. Don't let her ever forget. I'll be okay. Stay in school. Get good grades. Our parents only have you now. I'm sorry for everything, Sister. I want you to have a good life. Don't worry about me. I promise I'll be okay no matter where I'm going. I do have help. I can't guarantee we'll see each other again or speak to each other (I'm afraid I can't, it'll put you in harm's way) but stay strong for me, for Catie, for our family, for yourself. Especially for yourself because you deserve everything in the world and I cannot be the one to mess that up for you. You will be okay. Keep this letter hidden from the prying eyes of everybody, including Catie. She is such a good person and I know you'll have no problem finding your old friendship once I'm out of the picture. I love you. Never forget that." And that was the end of it. What a strangely abrupt end to such a close relationship. Could this really be the end? Somewhere in the letter, the realization that this was goodbye in every sense of the word hit me and I could barely stand. My knees gave out and I fell. I had continued to read through the hazy focus of my sight which came and went with almost every word. My breathing was rushed, uneven. I couldn't catch a deep breath and my head was spinning. "Catie," I called, knowing something was terribly wrong. My hands numbly folded the paper up to a tiny square and stuffed it into my pocket before I yelled again, "CATIE! CATIE!" My screams became harsh and breathless as I lost the ability to catch even the most shallow of breaths. I stumbled to the entrance of the tree-house on all fours, wobbling unsteadily on the edge. "Amber!" Catie realized, staring up at me helplessly from the bottom step of the ladder as she hesitated. My vision blurred again and Iet my body slump off of the wooden floor. Now I hung from the structure, directly above Catie, holding on with just my weakening arms. I had to get down and if I didn't take control I'd surely pass out and fall down anyway. I did not want that. My grip gave out and I fell from the fourth step from the top, crashing to the ground in a crumpled heap. Catie must have moved when I fell because I had been right above her. "Amber!" she repeated, lingering above me worriedly, "What's happening?" "I can't breathe! Take me home!" I begged as my body went numb and I felt myself grow even weaker. My vision went out but a moment later, my right eye hazily blurred back. Both eyelids fluttered closed and that was that. I was swimming in my subconscious.