this was the day your eyes first crashed into mine like the waves did to the side of the ship that swayed softly beneath the soles of our shoes. our silhouettes stood side by side in front of the scenery of the setting sun, souls subconsciously searching each other's for clues of what the future might hold. although your skin never met mine, you touched me from the few words that fell from your fluent mouth. belonging made her first appearance in my life since starting school, you felt so familiar & instantly i felt a sense of comfortability that i had never felt before, though you were a stranger to me. to this day i'm left wondering if i was infatuated with the image of you, or the way you made me feel. i guess we'll never know.
like i said, i had endured twelve years of my life without meeting a boy who i felt this way with. or, anyone i felt like this with for that matter. i hate how it had to have happened then, i wasn't ready. my heart wasn't ready. it was young and growing, just finding out how to walk, like a newborn foal standing on shaky legs. my family and i were on a holiday on the oceans between Australia and New Caledonia, travelling on the carnival spirit with some friends of my brother's. after spending three days exploring the ship, finding areas where i could read, relax and reflect, getting lost with every twist and turn & spending time with my family I was excited to spend a day wandering the stunning beaches of New Caledonia. Camera in one hand, joy in the other, I spent the day capturing our every move with the click of the camera. nothing felt off, or different. nothing foreshadowed the events that would place just hours later.
we had settled back into our cozy rooms and had left the spectacular shores of the Island behind, storing them in a compartment in the back of our minds that held the views of yesterday. it was the hours of the day that no one could call either late or early in the afternoon, the hours that just, existed the way they were. my brother suggested an ice cream and although it was close to dinner mum gave him permission with a smile that felt like a warm hug. being 9, my brother was not trusted to venture around the decks of a massive ship by himself, so I went along with him to the self-serve soft-serve machine which seemed to be popular with so many. i sat down next to a window that overlooked the sea we sailed above & noticed the changing colours of the sky. seeking confirmation, i asked my brother if he knew the way back to the cabin & with reassurance i slunk up the stairs that lead to the storey that showed me the sky.
the glass door was held open for me by the hands of a stranger wearing a maroon jumper that later stained the white sheets of my heart. muttering my thanks, i slipped through and stood aside, watching the figure retreat north, to the front of the ship where soft silver seats overlooked the sky as it met the sea. holding a small black Samsung in my hands i took photos of the scene i saw before me, standing in serenity until i was interrupted by your body slamming into the transparent door beside me. in shock, a snort came out of me & immediately my hands flew to my mouth. how could i be so rude? the rush of blood that made it's way to my cheeks like a spreading wildfire was stopped by a downpour that was the sound of your laughter.
"are you okay?" i asked, a shy smile crossing my face momentarily. you turned towards me and time ticked ten times slower than it would typically. your hazel eyes were like none i had ever seen before. i know in love stories and poems they always talk about the eyes so forgive me for being so cliche, but your eyes seemed like they held the whole world inside of them. you had the whole world inside of you. you were beautiful & you left me breathless. over the minutes that passed we exchanged stories of the adventures we had undertaken on an unknown island & spoke briefly about our families. i did not stutter once. the confidence that radiated from you seeped beneath the surface of my skin was pumped steadily through my system.
for once, all the bad things in my head stopped. the endless succession of words & thoughts that left me aching were silent, mesmerised by all the good you spoke. my demons held on to every syllable that you spoke, storing them away until they could scream them at me months from then. anyway, time was moving faster than it should've been. i would have stayed with you all night, listening to the songs that you spoke but i couldn't. the clock ticked 6 o'clock and I had to run away from my prince charming.
"see you again." i said hopefully "i mean, i know there are like 6 thousand people on the ship, but i hope i see you again."
my rambling brought a smile to your face and you said with a laugh,
"i hope so too, see you."
and i believed you.
