4th February 2019
After another five minutes of making out like teenagers, we finally broke away from each other. He unlocked the door which connected my room to the study and I slipped inside. I was thinking it was about time to ask for a key of my own. And maybe one for the door that connected my bathroom with his bedroom.
But I sighed because I knew he was merely walking me to my room to say goodnight.
Neither of us had been spending time in the other's bedroom. And I couldn't decide if that was a good or bad thing.
On the one hand, it seemed good that he was wary for us to begin an intimate relationship. He insisted we take it slow for his child's sake, and I really did agree.
But on the other hand, there was a part of me that couldn't possibly take another ragged-breath make out marathon. I wanted more. Since he always seemed able to remember himself and stop right before things got too intense, I wondered if he maybe didn't want me in that way. Not really.
So I decided that I would try to tip the scales in my favor.
That night, after watching some movie which neither one of us could say two words about, and after falling asleep in his arms on the couch, he gently woke me with a kiss. I was too groggy to prevent him from walking me back to my room. Damn. I felt so cheated without even a PG post-movie canoodle.
I cheered myself up slightly by thinking, That's okay. You've got a plan.
After our very chaste good night I closed my door, undressed and put on a silky chocolate brown robe that showed off a good deal of thigh. I thought it almost funny--what a departure this version of me was from my former fat girl, frightened self. But I shook those thoughts away before they could linger and trip me up.
This was my time to be bold.I pretended to sleep for maybe an hour. Then I got up and knocked softly on the door that led from my bathroom into his room. I heard a short shuffle and he unlocked the door.
"Babe?" He whispered with concern. "What's wrong?"
"I couldn't sleep," I said, attempting a flirty pout.
Looking a bit flustered, He gestured for me to enter his room. I stepped into the warm glow of a candle on a table beside a chair. He set the book in his hand upon the chair, and I saw his eyes quickly flick across my skin and back up to my own longing eyes.
"Why not?" His voice seemed to catch somewhere in the middle of his throat.
I said nothing. Instead moving closer to where he stood, I placed my hand on his bare chest to tentatively trail a finger down to his waistband. He took my hand and wrapped his arms around me, taking charge and enveloping me for a kiss.
The silky chocolate fabric I wore seemed to garner my desired effect. His strong hands began to glide up and down my back, across my ribcage, and finally to my chest. He hesitated, as if still at war within himself.
Finally. To finally feel him touch me like the girl he wanted. I could barely contain the excitement I felt inside.
