She sat on the floor of the bathroom, completely nauseated. The house was so silent she could hear her pulse as she leaned against the cold tile wall. She'd left dinner early, suddenly unable to keep her food down. Her friends didn't expect much from her these days anyway - they let her go without asking questions.
She sent her assistant away after he brought her home. She needed to be alone for this. It was the first time in ages she'd had to take a pregnancy test, but she was almost three weeks late now and she had to know. She had been totally unable to sleep for days, her insides tying themselves into knots as she thought about the idea of being pregnant at this stage in her life. She had tried to tell herself it wasn't possible - she was 44 years old.
The truth was that it was very possible, and she was desperately trying not to get her hopes up.
They hadn't talked since that night. Reconnecting with Lindsey had been terrifying, mostly because she had realized how much she still wanted him. She couldn't be in love with him. Not with anyone - not right now. He'd called once - she knew it was him. Late one night, it rang and she had ignored it. 2, 3, 4 rings. Finally it went to the answering machine and he hung up. He didn't try again.
She stared up at the vanity, too scared to look for the double pink lines. Or was she? Either outcome seemed awful. Either she was pregnant with Lindsey's baby, while they were still not on speaking terms and she had to go to him and tell him they were going to be parents or she wasn't pregnant and she lost all hope of ever being a mom.
Had it been 20 minutes? She had no idea. Time seemed to stand still as she waited. She and Lindsey were in no position to parent a child together, but she'd spent her entire life wanting a family with him. She had barely seen him in 5 years. Was this going to be their chance to get a different ending?
A very large part of her hoped that it would be.
Deciding that it had been long enough, she stood and took a step toward the sink, looking at herself in the mirror to avoid looking at the results. Her lips were still red, her eye makeup slightly smeared now. Had she been crying? She closed her eyes as she picked up the test from the counter. She inhaled deeply and opened her eyes. Two pink lines seemed to leap off the plastic at her.
Two lines. Positive.
