She sat in the dressing room, leaning forward with her elbows on her knees, taking deep breaths. She heard people everywhere. Secret Service was standing outside the door and seemed to be everywhere she looked. She couldn't even look in a mirror - she didn't like what she saw these days anyway, and she was nervous enough without obsessing over the extra pounds she'd managed to put on. Christine walked by and put her hand Stevie's shoulder, trying to calm her. She was totally unresponsive.
"5 minutes!" The call came from the dressing room door, and they buzzed around a little, not really sure how to interact anymore. It had been years since they'd been in a room together like this. Stevie stood, glancing at Lindsey. He wordlessly walked over and took her hands, giving her a reassuring smile. She returned his smile, gripping his hand tightly as he lead her toward the door. They piled onto the shuttle that would maneuver to the stage, all of them uncharacteristically quiet.
He'd held her hand all the way to the stage, leading her onto it. She gripped him tightly until the second he started playing, trying desperately to feed off the energy of the audience. She'd always been at home onstage. Now, though, surrounded by cameras and people in suits and the president of the United States, she felt completely inadequate.
Before she knew it, they were done and everyone was scattering. There was no backstage banter or after party. They'd exchanged some awkward goodbyes, none of them really sure when they'd see each other again. Or if they wanted to see each other again.
Lindsey had barely said two words to her. Not that she expected anything different, but her heart ached as she got into her car alone. What was he doing? She had felt a rush of relief when he'd showed up alone. It had been 15 years since they broke up and she still got knots in her stomach when she thought of him with other girls.
The driver helped her out of the car, and her heart skipped as she realized Lindsey was in the lobby, handing cash to the bellman. Of course they'd put them at the same hotel. The thought hadn't even occurred to her. She hesitated before walking in, knowing she needed to move quickly to avoid a crowd and hoping he would move even more quickly than she did. He didn't, and she saw him look at her when she entered. She put her head down and took her room key, hoping to push past him. He grabbed her arm gently and stopped her before she disappeared into the elevator.
"You don't have to run away from me."
"Well, I didn't think you'd have much to say to me."
"I don't want us to be enemies. We shouldn't end like that."
She furrowed her brow, and only then did she realize she hadn't even changed out of her stage clothes yet. She was standing in the lobby of a hotel, still in a top hat, and people were starting to gather. Lindsey put his arm around her and quickly escorted her into the elevator, keeping bystanders away.
"Thank you."
He nodded. "Room number?"
"1830."
He walked her to her room. They stood at the door silently for a minute, and then he hugged her goodnight.
"Goodnight, Stevie," he said and turned away.
"Lindsey? Do you want to come in for a little while?"
"Sure," he said, surprised by her offer.
He came in, and sat on the couch while she went into the bathroom to change. She came out looking slightly embarrassed, dressed in a blue nightgown, her make up gone. "Do you need anything?"
"No, I'm fine."
"Thank you for tonight, Lindsey. I couldn't have done that without you."
"I needed you there, too," he assured her, motioning for her to join him on the couch. He took her face in his hands and kissed her. She stared at him, stunned, unable to speak. "I have wanted to do that all day." She didn't say anything, but her eyes were wide as she searched for words. Any words. She couldn't find any. "Was that okay?" She nodded and leaned in to kiss him again.
They didn't speak; it wasn't necessary. He took off her nightgown and quickly removed his clothing, too. She was more shy than she used to be and he didn't like how self conscious she seemed. At least for tonight he could show her she was beautiful.
The sex was needy and intense. She dug her nails into his back and clung to him tightly as she climaxed, tears spilling from her eyes. He kissed her face and held her, touching her until they fell asleep.
The next morning, she rose before him, knowing that she needed to leave for her plane. She slipped out of his grip and grabbed her things, escaping into the hallway. A goodbye would have been impossible. She knew he'd understand.
