So now she was here, holding a positive pregnancy test. Her knees turned to rubber and she slid to the floor, tears falling freely. She wasn't sure if they were tears of relief or fear or happiness or something else altogether. It was around midnight, she thought. Later than Lindsey liked to stay up these days, but she needed him to know.
She stood, wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, and hurried to the bedroom. Had his number changed? She didn't even know if she was sure how to get a hold of him. She called the last number she had. It rang 3 times, and just when she was about to hang up, Lindsey's sleep filled voice came on the line. "Hello?"
"You were asleep."
"Yeah, I was. Stevie?" She didn't confirm it, but she didn't need to. She was suddenly frozen. "Honey, what's wrong? Are you okay?"
"Come over."
Something in her voice told him that he had to listen. He didn't ask questions or argue. "I'll be there in 10 minutes. Stevie? You're scaring me." He had already leapt out of bed and pulled on a pair of jeans. He held the phone with his shoulder as he fumbled with socks and shoes, desperate for information. "What's wrong?"
"I'm not sure," she said honestly, her voice shakier than she liked. She couldn't stop it.
"Are you sick? Do I need to call someone?"
"No, no. Nothing like that."
"Okay. I'm walking out the door right now. I'll be right there," he said, hesitantly hanging up the phone as he ran out the door.
The short drive felt like an eternity, and he sprinted from the car to the front door, pounding on it impatiently. She opened the front door and he was taken back by how wrecked she looked. Her face contorted as she started to cry again, and he opened his arms. She squeezed her eyes shut and let him hold her for a minute. He stroked her hair, trying to comfort her.
"I'm sorry if I scared you. Thank you for coming."
"Are you going to tell me why I'm here?"
"I'm pregnant." The words sounded so much more real when she said them out loud. Everything seemed to stop, her entire world hinging on Lindsey's next move. "God Lindsey, will you say something?"
"Are you... how do you feel about it?"
"Scared out of my fucking mind. But I want this baby. Maybe more than I've ever wanted anything."
"Thank God," he said, pulling her to his chest and hugging her tightly. "I know that circumstances aren't ideal, but I want this. We'll figure it out."
Now the tears were relief tears. She couldn't stop them. "I'm going to be a mom."
"And you're going to be an amazing mom."
"We're really going to do this. We're going to have a baby." Lindsey's support somehow made everything slightly less terrifying. If she was going to do this, he was the one she wanted by her side. Her tears subsided and her heart stopped racing.
"Come on, honey. Let's get you cleaned up," he said, noting that she was still in boots and a dress, and the remnants of her make up dripped down her cheeks. He watched her disappear into the bathroom and stepped into her closet to find something for her to wear. A nightgown hung from the door and he brought it to the bathroom, knocking gently.
"You can come in," she said. Her hair was pulled back now and she was patting her face dry. Her eyes were still swollen and red, but she flashed him a smile as he handed her the change of clothes and his heart melted a little. "Thank you."
"I'll be in the living room when you're ready." A few minutes later she emerged, looking much more collected. She sat beside him on the couch, still not very sure what to say. "Come here, baby," he said. He laid back and she curled up with him, her eyes closing as he played with her hair. They sat in silence for a long time, neither one of them really sure what to do.
"Are you seeing anyone right now?"
"No," he answered simply.
"Okay. I didn't want..."
"Were you really that scared to tell me?"
"I just didn't know where you and I were right now and I didn't want this to screw things up for you."
"I'm always in your corner, Stevie. Please don't be scared to talk to me."
"We can do this, right? raise a kid?"
"We can figure it out. No one is really prepared to have kids, I don't think. But we can do it."
"I couldn't imagine doing this with anyone else. You're the only man in my life I'd let anywhere near my children. Are we going to move? How are we going to..."
"Shh." He kissed her head and squeezed her. "Let's figure everything out later." She nodded and buried her face in his chest.
"You'll stay tonight, right?"
"Of course. How have you been feeling?"
"Sick. And so tired."
"Let's go sleep. You need rest. Tomorrow we can start to figure everything out." They retreated to the bedroom and fell asleep quickly, Stevie feeling more at peace than she had in weeks.
