#SOTUS Continued: Book One A PremWad Tale

Blissful To Hellish

Wad's POV

Waking to this view every day would be a wonderful thing. Looking at my sleeping boyfriend, I marvel that he is beside me. He knows all my secrets, and he is still next to me. I never thought anyone would love me. I am too broken. I am damaged goods. He sees beyond that and even sees me as beautiful and desirable. After I told him it seems he loves me more than he did before.

I had ghosted through high school after P'Dean had destroyed me. I was planning to ghost through university. I was. Then P'Prem stormed in. Usually, I would have walked away from someone calling me on my shit since I just wanted to fade into the background, but for some reason, there was just something about P'Prem that made me go toe to toe with him.

I smile, thinking of how we had been at each other throats at the beginning. Never would I believed behind all his anger issues was a guy who is so loving that it makes me melt daily or that I would be this soft. Just like P'Dean had altered me, P'Prem came in changed me all over again. Reminding me of the boy I was before high school.

Propping myself up on an elbow so I could see P'Prem's sleeping face, tracing his features with my eyes so I wouldn't wake him up like last time. My eyes land on his parted lips. They were so inviting before I knew what I was doing; I was leaning over to kiss him. I was only going to give him a quick kiss, but I am shocked when he responds by wrapping his arms around my neck. I ran my tongue along the seam of his lips, and they part. I deepen the kiss as he pulls me closer. Our tongues tangle together, tasting each other. He moans as his hand begins running down my side to my waist. I move closer only to have him flip me onto my back as he pulls back to look at me with lust-filled eyes. He begins kissing along my jawline down to my neck. Nipping and sucking, finding my sweet spot when I moan and angle my neck, giving him better access. The sensation of pain and pleasure intensifies as he leaves his mark, licking it once as he moves down farther. I feel his hand making its way under the hem of my shirt as it traces a path to my chest. P'Prem traces a circle around the nub of my nipple. I shudder from the sensation. He pulls my shirt up, exposing my chest as he begins to kiss each one. Nipping and teasing me as he grinds against me. Trailing kisses over my chest and down my abs, my heart is racing. I feel his fingertips trace the band of my boxers. Slipping under and pulling them down as he kissed his way down my happy trail. He used both hands as he began inching them lower. His hands are reaching behind to lift me to remove my boxers.

I can't explain what happened. It happened so fast. P'Prem is on the floor cursing, and I am cramming myself in a corner by the bed, screaming no over and over again. Shaking and crying uncontrollably, as I am trying to make myself as small as possible. I glimpse P'Prem holding his jaw as he gets up. He begins crawling over to me, flinching as he approaches.

"Shhhh, Wad," P'Prem says softly, "Everything is ok. You are safe. Shhhh."

He goes to pull my hands from over my head, and I lash out, shoving him hard against the bed.

"Fvck," P'Prem hisses as he hits the frame of the bed.

Images keep flickering through my head P'Dean overlays with P'Prem and back again. The smell from the rundown house permeates my nose. The grit on the floor rubs against my skin. The sounds fill my ears, and the iron taste of blood is in my mouth. I am back there again.

"Stop," I beg, "Please. Pleeeaaaasee. Please stop. No. No. Noooo." My body quivers, reliving that day. Every lash of the cord feels like it is reopening on my back.

I hear P'Prem begin to hum as he gets on his knees and comes a little closer softly. The tune is familiar but not. He is staying there out of arm's reach, humming to me. The tears running down my face as the tremors continue with each shaky breath. He inches a little closer. He is humming still. I raise my head and look at him and watch as P'Dean and P'Prem overlap.

He is not P'Dean, I tell myself. He is P'Prem. My Prem. He is still humming to me as he once again comes closer. He doesn't say anything, just hums this song that I cannot place but makes me feel safe. I see the concern in his eyes, along with fear and love.

My Prem. Not P'Dean. My Prem. Not P'Dean. Crawling over to him, I wrap myself around him as he keeps humming to me and stroking my hair. He holds me, waiting for me to calm down. He begins to rock as he hums. The sense of home and safety starts to drive away from the bad memories.

"What is that song?" I rasp.

"It is a song my mom used to sing when I had nightmares," answering as he continues to hum.

"Why do I feel like I know it?" mumbling into his shoulder, "I don't remember hearing you sing it before."

I feel a rumble of a laugh as he whispers into my ear, "I hum this to you every night."

Pulling back, I look at him, "You do?"

"You don't remember your nightmares do you, love?" he breathes.

I shake my head. I have nightmares? I don't remember having nightmares. He pulls me close and whispers, "I am glad you don't, love. But if you do, I will always be there to bring you good dreams. Always."

Burying my head in his chest, I mumble, "I am sorry. I hurt you."

"Shhh, Wad," Prem murmurs into my hair. "I am fine."

"P'Prem, I want to be with you," I whisper, "I do, but... it just triggered..."

"I know," P'Prem sighs into my hair. "I am not in a hurry. I am not going anywhere. We will work through this together. You are not alone, love."

I close my eyes as P'Prem continues to hum as he pulls me closer, and I feel him kiss me on top of my hair. I am not alone. I am safe.

Prem's POV

I am in the bathroom looking at my split lip, having left Wad asleep in bed. He had fallen asleep as I was rocking him. I take a shaky breath as I run my hands through my hair. This morning went from blissful to hellish in a blink of an eye.

Wad's reaction was violent and frightening. How am I going to convince him to talk to someone about this? As much as I want to be the one who helps him through this, I believe this might be too much for me.

Wad has buried what happened to him under layers of anger and self-loathing. I am beginning to realize his image of a tough loner was just a mask he hid behind. In reality, my Wad has been a hollow shell for years.

Walking out of the bathroom, I sit on the edge of the bed and watch him sleep. I stroke his hair, and when he stirs, I begin to hum, and he stills. Smiling, I remember him asking about the tune. Even though he was always asleep when I hummed it to him, he knew it, and it made my heart warm, knowing that it helped pull him back from the darkness that was threatening to consume him.

When he looked at me, I know I was not who he saw all the time. He went back to that day in his head. I could tell when who he saw shifted to that bastard. The fear was so raw. My heart twisted every time his face morphed from terror-stricken to broken, lost soul.

"What am I going to do, love," I whisper. "How am I going to make you whole?"

1401 4-5-19