hurts like hell | minsung ✓

prologue

His hands cupped my face, but he didn't want me. He wanted to hurt me, to ruin me. That was what this relationship was built of off. A bunch a fake lies to make the other fall in love. I knew how these things worked. People didn't love you, love wasn't real. Success, fortune, education, those were real. Love was a fantasy made up by some hopeless romantic.

"I'm not lying to you, I want you. I really do." His eyes locked onto mine, and I wondered for just a second. What would it feel like to be loved?

I placed my hands on his, pulling them away from my face. "Whatever this is, it started as a way to just hurt each other. We're rivals and not just in school, think of our parents' companies. You don't want me, what you're feeling is made up in your head."

"It may have started as a game, but I can't help but to fall for you. I know deep down inside, you have to feel it as well. You wouldn't have put up with me for months if you only had the intention of cutting me out of your life." He paused, he looked hurt. I hurt him, and I didn't know how to feel. "Please, you h-have to feel it."

I shook my head. Love wasn't real. Parents don't lie, they want what's best for you, and if they say love is fake then love is fake. People weren't meant to feel wanted, they were meant to succeed in some way.

He reached for my hand, but only caught a hold of a few fingers. "You cannot tell me that you don't even think about feeling wanted. You've gone your whole life being alone, you told me yourself! Let me be there for you, let me love you."

"If I let you love me, I would be vulnerable. You have an effect on me. You could make me drown and I'd be okay as long as you held me tight while doing it. You could try to kill me and I would want you! What don't you understand? I'm trying to make this feeling go away! No one loves me." I let my hand slide into his for just a few seconds before ripping it away.

I left him standing there speechless. Maybe he did want me, maybe he didn't. But my father made it clear that my only purpose in this world was to take over his company one day. Everyday since I was little he told me love was nothing. Marriages were slave contracts, and the only reason he kept mom around is because he wouldn't allow me to grow up in a broken family. I was made for one reason, to succeed.

Why didn't he understand that I'm unlovable? Why did I want his hands to touch mine once more? Even if it was just for a second.

He didn't hesitate to try and reach for me again, but was immediately stopped.

"If you take one more step towards my son, I will shoot you. And I never miss."

It was my father. He paused briefly, but looked at me and kept speaking.

"I didn't want you to find out like this, son. But how else was I supposed to tell you that these companies are gangs. Your little boyfriend doesn't love you, he wants to take our family down. Why else would he invest so much time in you? Because of his father."

I didn't want to believe my father. This game I was apart of...I really had believed it was going somewhere.

But my father was always right, and love was fake.

"Now son, how about you get rid of your little boyfriend so I don't have to."

He passed me the gun. My heart shattered, I knew what I had to do. This was my life. This business, or gang, whatever it was, it was my life. And I had a trigger to pull.

I aimed the gun at my target. I didn't fire right away, instead I listened to his cries. He begged me not to shoot him, he pleaded for me to stop. He told me I was better than this, that I had potential. You could have a good life, he said. We can work this out, he said.

No we couldn't, and with that I pulled the trigger.

"I won, I ruined you."