"And how does that make you feel Harry?" The lady with grey hair (Mrs Wilson) asks in front of me from behind the desk, fingers resting on the keyboard lightly, ready to type as soon as I answer.
"Annoyed with myself" I finally answer after a long pause, and she nods like she has a fucking clue what i'm talking about, her fingers then start typing immediately. I want to be blunt with her, but truthfully, it's nice to actually talk to someone - especially as it's confidential. The walls around me are grey and look as if they are unpainted, it causes the room to feel dark
"What do you miss most about her?" She asks, this question kind of hits me hard, I don't know what it is she wants me to say because it's not like it will mean anything to her, she didn't know her, so my response will be irrelevant.
"Her sarcasm" I answer, and she raises her eyebrows and tilts her head as if telling me to continue. "She was just so..so, bipolar. Like one moment she was happy, and the next she was deepressed or crying about some shit that I had done" I explain and she nods.
"Do you miss her or the memories?" She asks and I answer almost immediately.
"Her"
"I see. And Harry, are you in a relationship now?" She asks and I squeeze my eyes shut, nodding.
"But you're in love with another girl?" She questions, looking a little confused and I nod. "What's your girlfriend's name?" I didn't want to tell her her name, but I do it anyway.
"Ronnie" I hide my groan.
"And the girl you're in love with is...?" She questions and I want to punch her repeatedly over and over again.
"Lola" I speak quietly, I hate saying her name, I can imagine myself only liking it when i'm talking to her, and not when i'm talking about her.
"How long has it been since you've seen her?"
"5 years" I sigh and she looks at me sympathetically, causing me to look away from her sorrow filled eyes.
"How did she leave Harry?" She continues.
"I pushed her" I answer all her questions bluntly, I must've been here for at least half an hour now and I was getting beyond bored!
"Physically or-" She begins but I cut her off with an angry bark.
"I would never lay a fucking finger on her!" I shout, standing up from my seat, the old lady flinches but I just ignore it. "I loved that girl with everything I had, I couldn't imagine ever physically hurting her!" I continue and she stands up aswell now; she's much smaller than me.
"Sit down" She orders sternly but quietly and I do as she says, groaning. "You say you wouldn't hurt her physically, but you did mentally, am I right?" She questions and I don't answer, diverting my eyes away from her piercing grey ones. "You know Harry, sometimes mental hurt can be more painful than physical." she tells me but I don't reply, knowing for well that she is correct - I just don't want to admit it. "I get the feeling you're scared she's moved on" she concludes and I finally rest my balled fists and sigh.
"Yes" I whisper.
"Harry why are you here?" she finally asks.
"Niall" I answer, he did it because He thinks I'm 'depressed' (whatever people think the definition of depression is nowadays anyway) and he finally came to the conclusion that I needed help - I refused at first, for a long time actually, but then I realised I wanted my old fun life back an I've tried almost everything - hell I even tried moving on, but Ronnie is nothing compared to Lola.
"Harry, have you ever wondered whether seeing her may finally let you move on" she asks and I shake my head.
"That would never happen. I'm already in too deep, seeing her again would ruin me" I shake my head.
"Aren't you already ruined?" she asks and I stare at her wide eyed, I never even noticed.
"I guess" I speak quietly. "but she left me"
"And is that you're plan on getting over her and moving on with your life? By telling yourself that she left you so you can't ever love her?" She asks with furrowed eyebrows and I shrug, nodding. "Well, Harry, I made a powerpoint and we're going to look at it. Your friend, Niall, helped me out with some of the details" She explain and I nod - not really knowing what she's talking about. She types a few things on her computer and clicks a few buttons and before you know it a massive photograph of Lola is projected onto the grey wall behind her. I look at it in awe - she is truly stunning. "What is it you like about her most?" She asks.
"Her lips" I smile at the memory of both our mouths connection.
"But don't you think her lips are a little chapped" She squints her eyes to look closer to the photo on the wall - I roll my eyes, noticing what it is she's doing - she's trying to turn me against her, she wants me to see all her faults and flaws, but to me, there aren't any.
"Nope, they were always so soft" I shrug, I'm not going to let some random old bat that I don't even know, turn me against the girl that I love.
"And her pores are awful" she makes a disgusted face but I just roll my eyes - this isn't changing anything. She sighs, noticing my unamused expression. "Harry can't you see what this girl did to you?" She asks calmly, taking a seat. "She made out that you two were okay and then she left, she walked out of your life like it was no big deal"
"No, that's not true! She stated in the letter that it was very hard for her!" I argue back.
"Open your eyes boy! This is what, your fourth appointement with me and we're not making any progress whatsoever" She shouts and suddenly starts typing very quickly on her computer.
"What are you doing?"
"Looking her up on facebook" She states bluntly, quickly flicking through the pieces of paper beside her and resuming with her typing - I'm guessing it was to find out Lola's surname. She finally stops and smiles satisfied. I furrow my eyebrows as she clicks a button and her facebook page projects onto the wall once again. My eyes widen, she looks absolutely beautiful in her photo, you can barely see what she's wearing, just the top of a red dress by the looks of it. Her hair is curled to perfection, and as usual, her skin has the beautiful kind of glow to it, making my heart leap out of my body. My eyes travel further down her facebook page, where they soon come to a halt, my eyes widening.
Lola Callaghan in a relationship with Luke Hemmings.
And that's when I throw my chair across the room and start shouting profanities at the girl I once loved.
Hi guys! Sorry if the chapters are a little short - I understand that a counsellor wouldn't usually do this but it's a fanfiction and it's not really hurting anyone soo yeah:)
oh and Lola's profile picture on facebook that Harry saw is on the side ----->
3 votes and 2 comments for the next chapter please, thanks xx
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Just can't let her go (Little white Lies sequel)
Fanfiction"I used to think that you were supposed to love the people who loved you back, as if we had a choice in choosing who we handed our hearts to. I think it's funny how it all works out, like you can love someone so much and they will be in love with so...
