Identity Crisis

Love is Trust

Tara and Gar walked down the halls of Titans tower in silence. It shouldn't have been awkward, but it was. And Tara just felt like she had to say something, "He's not my boyfriend, she blurted. She immediately regretted saying it when Gar turned to her, cocking his head to the side. Apparently, he had forgotten about earlier and she had been worried for nothing, "Sean," she clarified, feeling more awkward by the second, "He's not my boyfriend." She cringed at her words, realizing how strange they must've sounded, but she couldn't seem to get them to stop coming out of her mouth.

"Ok," said Gar, shrugging, he looked at her nervously then looked away again, "I mean, I wasn't concerned about that- like at all."

"Oh," Tara went silent, wishing she hadn't spoken in the first place. They continued to Beast Boy's room without saying a word. When they walked in Gar noticed that she avoided looking in the mirror and Raven's words began to egg at his conscience. He should tell her, it was selfish not to. The truth was he had no solid evidence that she wasn't Terra, in fact it was beginning to look like she was. But he didn't want to push her away again, if she didn't want to be Terra he didn't have to be. He just didn't want to lose her again.

He sighed and wheeled out a conspiracy board from his closet. "Wow," said Terra, gazing at the pins and string dangling from the board and holding up book's worth of articles and pictures.

"Yeah," he laughed bashfully, "I spent a lot of time trying to figure this out."

Tara smiled at him, but it became thoughtful as she stared at the pictures of Terra, "You guys were pretty close, huh," she said picking up a picture of Terra sitting on the couch with the Titans.

Beast Boy took it from her and smiled as he remembered the day it was taken. That night he and Terra had drawn mustaches on all the sleeping Titans, and once he'd fallen asleep, she'd drawn one on him, "Yeah," he chuckled quietly, "She was great." He looked up at Terra who was still absorbed by the photo and he smiled. Terra had suffered a lot, but this girl, he wanted her to be happy. Meaning he would help her no matter what the cost, whether it meant keeping her past a secret or not.

"Hey," he whisked a strand of hair away from her face, "Don't worry about it," Tara bit her lip and nodded, "We've got this," he whispered, "Together." She hugged him, and though he didn't say much afterwards, it was the first time he'd felt ok, since Terra died. He'd been constantly trying to distract himself from the pain, but he felt like now, confronting it, feeling the girl he loved in his arms again, like this was what he should've been doing all along.

They walked down the hall in silence, smiling at each other occasionally, but mainly occupied with pushing Gar's conspiracy boards down the hall. They reached the end and Gar walked in front of Tara to hold the door open.

"Gar," she said quietly, he stopped and turned around. She took a deep breath and looked up at him, "I just wanted to say I'm sorry."

Gar cocked his head and put a hand on her shoulder, she looked down and he tilted her chin up gently "You've got nothing to be sorry for."

"It's just—" she stuttered, using dramatic hand gestures to display her thought process, "You've been so nice to me, and I totally misjudged you when we first met even though it wasn't your fault," she poured the words out faster than she could think of them, "And I feel like the only reason I was like that was because I was scared of- of being Terra," she sighed, " And I know I shouldn't have taken it out on you but I was just so scared that-that I was the person who'd betrayed all her friends," she sighed, "But the thing is, I feel like- like things changed," she looked into his eyes searchingly, "You know?"

"Yeah," he said, his eyes smiling back at hers, "Yeah, I think I do."

She breathed a sigh of relief before her eyes clouded up again , "Gar," she said shakily, "If I were her, If I made a mistake and did something really, really bad that hurt you and Vicky, and X," she bit her lip, "Would you still love me?"

Love? Gar went silent in thought, she'd asked him the very same question all those years ago on the Ferris wheel, 'Beast Boy, if you knew something bad about me, would you still be my friend?' and he'd let her down, it had been his fault that she'd gone Rogue. Everything that had happened had fallen on him. Only this time was different, she said love. Love was trusting, love was kind, love was everything he hadn't been, and he began to think that this may have been a second chance for him. But love was also giving everything you had, your entire heart included, and, he knew it sounded selfish, but what if he gave it his all and he got his heart broken again. He wasn't sure if he could take that kind of stab in the back twice.

"Gar?" her crystal blue eyes looked into his like a lost child. And for a moment he was taken back to all those years ago when he'd said, "Slade was right, you don't have any friends." And that's when it hit him, he'd chickened out the last time, he'd been too afraid to take a leap of faith, to trust her to make the right choice. He had left her when she needed him most. He looked down into the crystal saucers, he wasn't going to make that mistake again.

"Always," he said, pulling her close to his chest, "Always."