Eugeo Finds Out!

stuff

A.N. Okay, so I'm a little scared to write this because it's not my idea and I'm scared I won't be able to do a satisfactory job for the person who came up with it.
All credits for the idea to Kirisomia.
Also I have mentioned this many times, but this story deviates heavily from the original and official storyline in the manga and anime, this is intended for plot purposes.
Sorry, I have a bad habit of over explaining things that don't really need explained.
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Summary: the boys find Alice and Kirito recovers his memories, Alice stared in confusion while Kirito tells his whole life story and then slashes kirito, cause duh, she's like I don't know who the he'll you are but bro, so not just march into my territory, destroy my fellow knights and then just stand there spouting nonsense forever and expect me just to let you do it.

"How many more floors do you think there are Eugeo?"
Eugeo put his thumb and forefinger on his chin in a thinking pose while they ran up the stairs.
"Well, I think we've just passed the seventy ninth, so twenty one? "
Kirito nodded and continued to run.
They finally reached the eightieth(I spelled that wrong didn't I?) Floor and paused for breath before a huge set of double doors.
They looked at each other for confirmation and simultaneously pushed on either door, opening them just enough to get through.
The room was like a garden, or a park.
The floor was coated in grass and flowers of different sorts, and a small stream cut through separating the door from the huge tree that stood atop a hill in the center. Under the tree, a young woman rested, using the trunk as a backrest.
When she noticed our presence, the woman calmly stood. "You have come far, but this is where your journey ends." Eugeo watched with a mix of joy and pain in his eyes, a sickly mixture to be honest. "My name is synthesis thirty, integrity knight Alice …"
At this point in her speech a sharp pain exploded in Kirito's head, causing him to almost double over in pain as images flooded his mind.
" kirito! " Eugeo cried out in concern and rushed to help his friend, while Alice watched with annoyance at the interruption.
"I—i'm alright Eugeo." Kirito stood straight again as the pain vanished.
"I would say that I'm glad but considering your position here I feel that it would be more proper to split your stomach in two." Alice commented. The boys glared at her.
" As I was saying, I am integrity knight Alice synthesis thirty and I sha…"
"Hey, Kirito are you sure you're alright? You have a strange look on your face." Alice huffed loudly at yet another interruption to her speech.
" I remember. " Kirito mumbled barely audible.
"What?" Eugeo was confused.
" I remember Eugeo! I remember everything about my past! " he sounded ecstatic, and Eugeo in turn also became excited at the news.
"That's great Kirito!"
there was a slight pause and Alice took it as her cue to finally speak. She stood and took a deep breath, opened her mouth and…

"So can you tell me?" Eugeo interrupted for the third time.

She growled and punched the tree in frustration.
"I suppose, but it's complicated, so pay attention okay."
Eugeo nodded.
"My name isn't actually kirito, it's kazuto, but I go by many others depending on who I'm with."
" Woah, like what? "
"For a few, a brother, a gunman, a boyfriend, a husband, a father, a gamer, a beater…"
"Beater?"
"Yep"
"What's that?"
Suddenly Alice lost all patience and tossed her sword, landing it square in Kirito's stomach, shocking the other two.
"There, beaten! Does that explain your question?"
Eugeo's jaw dropped and Kirito fell to the floor.

"Kirito!" Eugeo knelt down next to the ravenette who was coughing blood.
"Alice why did you do that!?"
She huffed and crossed her arms .
"He kept interrupting me!" She shouted in an exasperated tone.
Kirito wolf whistled from the floor Eugeo turned back just in time to catch Kirito giving him a thumbs up. "Awesome tastes Eugeo! "
The blonde boy sweatdropped. "What the f**k?"

And I am going to end this here. Sorry, I was feeling depressed and wrote this as a comedy in order to cheer myself up, so let me know if you want me to rewrite it more serious.
Sorry for butchering your idea kiri'.