Larry fics

Happy Thoughts

larry stylinson // happy thoughts, one-shot.

Relatively smutty one-shot. 

Warning for mature content, so please do not continue if you don’t want to read it. 

—

“… and I’ve only really had the salmon once, but that was with my friend Charlotte and she was actually trying to be a vegan at the time, and she didn’t know that that meant she had to stop eating fish as well.”

“Uh, huh,” Harry mumbled, masochistically gesturing for her to continue with a wave of his hand.

“So instead she had to order this terrible eggplant dish that had vegetables all packed inside and it was dripping with fat and oil just everywhere, it was disgusting.”

Harry didn’t want to seem rude, but he felt fairly certain that this the worst date he had ever been on in his entire life. It also happened to be the first date he had been able to go on in over a month, given their recently hectic schedules, which would perhaps explain how he could have possibly overlooked the fact that the cute, cheerful girl he had met at a club the other night was actually the most boring specimen of the female gender he had ever come across.

In the first fifteen minutes after they arrived at the restaurant, she had spent almost all of them detailing each of the dishes that she had eaten here before as she slowly eliminated each one as a possible choice for tonight’s meal. She had not merely chosen to skip over them and move on, which Harry might have been okay with, but instead she decided to give an in-depth analysis and even include an anecdote to explain why she was not having that dish on this particular date. At first, he had thought it was cute; he had considered the possibility that she was simply talking away her nervousness, so that they could break the ice and move on without awkwardness. However, when she did not let up, and instead continued talking about each individual section an essay-length description, he had come to the horrible realisation that he was trapped with a girl who seemed more interested in the sound of her own voice than in him.

But, not wanting to hurt her feelings, he had asked after her life and what her interests were, and for a time, that had worked. He diverted her attention long enough so that, while she was still talking without taking a single break for air, at least she was talking about the fishing trip she had recently undertaken with her uncle and not the contents of the menu.

Unfortunately, that story had led her back to the seafood section, and Harry was now caught in a daydream in which he elected not to let her choose the restaurant for their date and simply fled at the suggestion that they go out for dinner.

He very nearly kissed the waiter that arrived with their food – despite the fact that he was a man and wearing a gold wedding band on his finger – for the simple reason that it seemed impossible that she could talk at such a high speed while eating at the same time. Inevitably, he was proven wrong and then felt mixed feelings of both disgust and fascination with the way that she continued chatting around her mouthful. He could only be grateful that it made her eat faster, and his eyes strayed to the clock on the far wall as he waited for the whole thing to end.

—

Later, when he finally escaped – narrowly avoiding her subtle invitation to come back to her house for the night – Harry went straight into Louis’ room and flopped face-down on the bed beside his friend. Louis was sitting up in the cushions, the muted TV flickering on in the background while his thumbs flashed over the keyboard of his mobile.

“I take it your date went well, then?” he asked dryly, without looking up from the text he was tapping out.

Harry shook his head as he pulled his head out of the covers, and then rolled himself into the spot beside his housemate, tucking his legs under him. “What gave you that idea? And before you answer, please bear in mind that you’ve been sitting in bed on a Friday night with the telly on while I went on a date.”