Larry fics

haunted - Part 1

I never wanted this to happen.

I never wanted to feel this way for him.

I never wanted so much pain.

But it happened, and I felt this way for him. I felt pain.

Stupid Louis Tomlinson for ruining my life.

Stupid Eleanor Calder for ruining my life.

Stupid me for ruining my life.

Have you ever wanted something so badly that it physically pains you?

That's how I feel towards Louis. I've felt like that since a few months after the X Factor.

I'd waited to long to tell him, though.

The nausea I had felt as he introduced his new girlfriend was etched into my memory.

Knowing how happy she had him killed me.

Every time he viciously denied Larry Stylinson evoked a similar reaction.

The fans often commented on how I had never denied it, that it was always him.

It was because I wanted it to be real.

Stupid Eleanor for taking him away.

Stupid Louis for not noticing the pain I lived in, for not noticing how skinny I was getting or how tired I was.

The other boys noticed. They even saw the cuts on my wrists, but nothing they did could help me anymore.

I was spiraling into a dark abyss.

Stupid me for letting myself fall so hard for someone that I would never, ever get.

-

I blinked open my eyes, regretting it immediately.

I wasn't hung over or anything, I just hated waking up in the mornings without Louis by my side.

Every since he had gotten his own place and moved out of our flat, it just seemed pointless to wake up. I used to always love waking up because he usually was the one making me. Sometimes he'd run in and jump on my bed until I was awake, but sometimes he'd crawl into bed with me and cuddle until I opened my eyes. I always had preferred the latter.

But no. Now I woke up by myself. I ate by myself, when I did eat. I had gotten so used to cooking for Louis that it just depressed me further to know I only had to cook for one. So I didn't eat much anymore, and the boys were noticing. The fans were noticing as well. Everyone but Louis.

It was so obvious something was wrong with me, so why couldn't he see it? It wasn't just the fact that you could see my ribs through my shirt. I hadn't slept well in ages, so I was pale and sickly looking with huge dark circles under my eyes. I wasn't even hiding the angry red cuts on my wrist anymore. Usually when we were out in public, the other boys made me put on bracelets though. They didn't want the fans to see just how badly I was doing.

Especially recently I was getting a lot of tweets asking if I was alright, because something was obviously wrong.

Hell, even Eleanor noticed!

That stupid, perfect girl that Louis was infatuated with noticed I wasn't okay and my best mate didn't.

And that stung most of all.

I sighed heavily, exhausted after only a few hours of sleep. But I was tired all the time now, so it was nothing new. Even the sleeping pills that I had been prescribed didn't help. I'd take them and fall asleep, but I always woke up just as tired as I had been before.