Larry fics

now it's hard to hold on...

now it's hard to hold on to anything, when there's holes in the palm of your hand

harrytopsok

Summary:

a one shot where louis has an eating disorder and the boys don't find out until he's gone

Notes:

I originally thought of this as an alternate ending to Fading, but I'm not gonna use anything from Fading bc it's too perfect to be tainted by my writing so i did it ot5. my thoughts were like what if harry hadnt found out and louis had died before he knew? that's what this is based off of.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

He first noticed during sex. He had Harry and Liam pounding into him with Zayn and Niall fucking over him. He noticed how his thighs jiggled with each thrust. He noticed how his stomach rolled when he curled up when his prostate was hit. He noticed how his muscles were childish compared to his boys'. And he hated it.

After recovering from his orgasmic haze, Louis ran to the showers and cried. It had hit him like ton if bricks how fucking ugly he was. Staring at his reflection in the mirror, he picked out his flaws one by one. Stomach. Thighs. Arms. Nose. Eyebrows. How his eyes weren't quite green like Harry's or deep blue like Niall's.

And he hated it.

Louis stayed in bed all the next day, letting his boys pamper him. They brought him food, drinks, entertainment, kisses, cuddles, anything he asked for. he let them assume whatever they wanted as to what was up; he didn't like to be pampered. today, however; he just needed to be loved.

Right as all the boys fell asleep, Louis asked for one more thing. "One more tiny favor babes... please." When nobody responded, as they were all asleep, he continued. "A body I can love."

He fell asleep with tears on his cheeks and a frown on his face.

-

Waking up to a blasting alarm, Louis looked over to see the time. "Shit!" He yelped, jumping out of their shared bed.

Niall sat up groggily. "Wha...? Lou come back to bed!"

Frantically digging through his drawers, he shook his head quickly. "I've got class in five minutes, I can't be late!"

Harry bolted awake at the sound of the eldest's panicked voice. "Want me to make you breakfast? I don't have class until 11," he offered, beginning to climb out of bed, tossing the covers on his sleeping boyfriends, Niall already dozing off.

Louis shook his head, buttoning his pants. "No time, gotta dash, love you all!"

-

It was Monday, meaning Louis had back to back classes all day. He didn't have any snacks or lunch, and hated to admit it, but being hungry felt good. Louis relished the feeling on his stomach eating itself. In film class, his stomach rumbled and it felt better than any meal he had eaten. Through performing arts, his head spun and he felt more alive than he had ever felt before.

"Hey, Lou, we're stopping for dinner on the way home, you wanna join?" Stan from dramatics asked.

Louis shook his head. "I've got a boy at home cooking for me. He's the head of his culinary class and everything he makes phenomenal."

Stan shrugged. "See ya, mate!"

On an impulsive decision, Louis lingered at school for an hour, his phone dead and stomach tossing quietly. When he made his way home, he was met by a tall, tan figure picking him up and swinging him around into the warm house. "You're home!" Zayn cheered.