Larry fics

Circle Of Flames

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louis wakes up to an ache building in his stomach. food, give me food, is his initial reaction, but after a few beats he lets his eyes fall open and once his brain comes around, he remembers that the ache is good. it’s progress in his book. he hasn’t written this book yet, actually, but he’s pretty sure the title will be ‘how to successfully starve yourself while in a boyband’ by louis tomlinson. it’s a surefire hit. he’s a pretty smart person, and his mind is full of great chapter names and great introductions and a great authors notes and he’s going to dedicate it all to himself because he earned it after all his struggles.

it’s going to be a bestseller just you wait.

taking a few moments to let himself wake up completely (and letting the thudding pain in his gut cease a little) he turns around and curls his back to mold into the front of the lanky form that is harry (who’s been blissfully unaware of all said struggles he mentioned before.) he feels the curls and the steady breath of harry tickle his neck and he smiles fondly and tries to scoot backwards more because it’s normal for everyone in their 20s to like cuddles. it is. or it isn’t normal and it’s just another thing he can add to chapter 3 of his book that’s going to be called ‘the list of things i hate about myself that allowed me to get to this point of self mutilation.’

after choosing to go with it isn’t normal (even though it is, everyone needs cuddles) he thinks for a second that it is alright to see yourself so lowly if there is something wrong with you is.

chuckling a bit at his own misfortune, louis starts to wonder what brought him to this point. he does this every morning, but he has yet to come to a definite conclusion. his favourite hypothesis (he uses big words in his head because he can) is that one day, whilst touring in some tropical destination, he got bit by a spider and instead of turning into spiderman – which would’ve been much preferred – he became an insecure, self hating, famous person.

the sad thing is that that conclusion is the least probable seeing as he’s been this way for a much longer time than he’d like to admit (aka he’s been self-conscious for a long time and saying that something happened on tour to make him this way would a blatant lie, and even though he lies a lot that lie would be like he was now lying to himself and he’s passed that point, okay) so with a wrinkle of distaste in his nose, he lets his mind wonder to another topic.

he thinks of the last interview they went to, he thinks of the last country they visited, he thinks of how he spent too long in the shower and how it went cold but he stayed inside until the freezing water made his skin sting and burn. that makes him think of the ‘punishment’ that harry gave him because he wasted all the warm water before harry had the chance to bathe (it wasn’t much of a punishment seeing as he went through each moment with a slackened jaw and curled toes.)

he thinks happy things, sad things, things that make him angry, things that make him excited and then he thinks some more. he thinks until he feels harry tighten his arm around his middle and the big inhale-exhale through his nose that’s a telltale sign that the beast has awoken. he chuckles again at his horrible joke-thing and squirms around until he’s facing harry and tucks his face in. he kisses harry’s collarbones and nuzzles his nose up into his jaw with a sleepy smile on his face. the arms around him tighten once more before harry looks down with closed eyes and kisses his forehead, nose, cheeks, and lips with a lazy smirk.

“mm, g’mornin’, love,” he drawls, and louis' smile grows wider because he loves how gravelly and low harry’s voice is in the morning. everyone knows his voice is low but louis is blessed to be greeted every morning by his even deeper voice that’s rough with sleep.

he hums in reply and one again nuzzles into harry’s neck. his stomach is churning, though, and he feels sharp pains shooting through his body which is never fun. he squeezes his eyes shut and wishes the pain to subdue but it just gets strongerandstronger and he can’t help the whimper-sob hybrid that escapes his lips.