The Prodigal

Chapter 17

Jael was packing up her things on Friday night when Eli picked me up to go to dinner at his friends' house. I had asked her if she needed help, but in a way that clearly implied I didn't want to. She graciously said she didn't need any. We haven't talked in the past few days. She was on the phone with her parents, Sam, and her friends from school. Explaining why she hadn't been at class and insisting that Sam had swept her off her feet and that she couldn't live without him. It almost sounded romantic.

"I was running away from my feelings for him, and you can't run from yourself forever" she had said to Tiffany. I had told Eli I would text him Friday to confirm our plans for the evening but that we couldn't talk every day to avoid my Father's suspicion. We had already been talking too much.

"Gotta do what we gotta do, I guess" he said, "I'll miss hearing from you." I could tell he was disappointed. I wondered when he would have enough and tell me not to bother calling again. Jael leaving is a reminder of how powerful the Church still is in our lives. I'm starting to feel angry at it, as an entity. It's swallowing her up and taking her away from me. Now I have no one here who understands.

"Bye, Jael. I'll see you later tonight" I said as I got ready to walk out the door for one of the last times that this apartment would be OUR apartment. She peeked out from her open bedroom.

"Ok, I'll probably turn in early, so I might not see you 'til morning" she says. "Oh, by the way. I'm leaving you a pile of clothes I can't take back with me." She gestures to a heap of dresses, shorts, and jeans that would all be condemned by her new husband.

"Can't you use those as lingerie?" I ask with a smirk. Jael huffs.

"Oh, don't be bitter, Naomi. You never know. You might end up falling for Jonathon one of these days." Jael's words make me roll my eyes. Jael may be starting to believe her own rhetoric.

"I don't think so" I say shortly.

"Stop! You're being bitchy". Jael is pouting now. But I don't back down.

"You're going to have to clean up your language."

"Naomi! Just stop. Do you have to make this harder for me?" Jael is twisting everything around again. I can never keep track of whether she is in control or a helpless victim in her own life.

"You know what, Jael, you don't get to play both sides of this. One minute you are telling all of your friends that your life is perfect and you're basically running off with the love of your life, and then you turn around and want sympathy from me."

"So, suddenly you're not a fan of telling two stories? How do you think Jonathon would feel if he knew everything you tell him about being his girlfriend is bullshit?" Jael's anger flaring up makes me nervous. I shouldn't have said anything to her. Every second she is back home is dangerous to me here. She could betray me at any time if she wanted to. And she didn't know half of the story. I guess Jael and I were being driven apart by our separate lives even before this happened when I kept the truth about Jonathon from her.

"I don't want to fight. It's just...hard" I say, conceding.

"It's ok. I-I'm sorry it worked out this way." Jael stands with her hand on her hip, almost as if she is about to say more and plunge us back into our argument, but she doesn't. We stand there for a moment. I consider hugging her, but I don't, there's still too much left unsaid, hanging in the air. I can see Eli's truck sitting outside the apartment.

"I'll see you tomorrow" I say and head out the door. I can only fathom how our six-hour car ride will be together.

"Bye" Jael says as she heads back into her bedroom to continue packing. I realize that room will soon be empty. I'll be all alone here at night, and when I'm studying. Sometimes Jael doesn't get home until late, but there is a certain comfort in knowing that eventually someone else is expected to be here with me.